Before the dawn

Because whatever that’s said above is probably what’s getting me through these few days. I’ll just take it as a form of deterrence, something that’s like an obstacle I’m bound to face no matter what. If it’s something I’m meant to do, I know eventually, somehow, I will end up in that direction again.

I’m warning you, if you’re expecting some happy fluffy exciting post about how awesome my life is, then I suggest you just exit endlessparadigm now. Whatever’s coming up ain’t gonna be as pretty as you expect it to be.

I’d be lying if I say I’m fine. In fact I am far from being alright, it’s just that I don’t see a reason in expressing those negative feelings in front of others anymore. Not like it will help me feel better right? It just makes me feel so pathetic, somehow. Ugh whatever, it’s something I’ll learn to live with, albeit it really hurting (and while we’re still at it, it hurts a lot okay) -.-

So just … yeah. And it doesn’t help when some senseless people person chooses to ruin my already ruined mood the day after everything was finalised -.- It took 10000% of determination not to just reply in the form of snapping back, or simply just ” _|_ “. Hey I was nice enough to entertain your lame requests, so please learn that everything has a limit. Including my patience AND tolerance for such childish/selfish words.

I’m sorry that all my posts these days have been of nothing but angst, there’s just a lot going on right now and if I don’t vent them out on this platform I swear I’ll just go crazy someday ugh -__- Today’s the last day of June, I’m sincerely hoping that the second half of 2013 will be infinite times better than the first half.

To everyone out there having a bad day/time/mood, cheer up (: I know it’s easier said than done. But always tell yourself, you’re ultimately the only one you can rely on. If you don’t help yourself get better, then who will? Everyone comes and goes off at some point in time, as harsh as that reality may seem. In the end, you’re left to fend for yourself.

I hate acting fine, it makes me feel even worse on the inside ): Nobody will ever understand how I feel okay. But I’ll get better, I’ll get stronger, and I won’t let anything tear me down no more.

Nothing ever happens like you imagine it will.

And I learnt that the hard way.

x

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Closure

lovequotesrus: EVERYTHING LOVE

 

And so I guess today will be the last official day of waiting. No matter what happens, I will … accept it. Not like I have any other choice right hahah. Let’s see how things go today, not like I’m in the position to hope for anything already. Might do up another post tonight, if I have the mood/time to do so.

Because this, proves to me that 11:11 doesn’t work; and miracles don’t happen.

x

Just give me a reason

“The dark side” I guess most people think of negativity when they see these three words. All the evil, nasty feelings get triggered, and it’s just simply nothing but sadness I guess? Like how a living red rose turns into a black rose; hearts into black hearts. After all, it’s the dark side that people are talking about.

But hey, I was just thinking. How would you know how to appreciate all the happiness around you without going through anything sad in your life? Everyone has experienced this “Dark Side” at some point in time, some may be major and some might be merely a minor thing hmm. But whatever it is, there are some pros to experiencing those bad times. Bad times make you stronger, happier (‘cos you get to appreciate the good things around you), and generally a better person. Yeah, those experiences might be nasty and tainting your lives, but whatever you do, whenever you feel like life is treating you the wrong way, just tell yourself, and somehow convince yourself (if it’s even possible), that such things happen for a reason. Tell yourself, it is nothing more than fear.

After all, everything happens for a reason. So let’s just enjoy the dark side while it lasts.

One of those nights

yanilavigne: (Quotes here)

 

This is so true … and it got me thinking as to how some people can be so insensitive with their words hmm. I mean I don’t really give a damn if you were being insensitive by accident or intentionally, ‘cos in the end the damage is done equally the same and nothing’s going to ever change that. Which makes me so pissed/irritated/angsty ugh ): If everyone would just spend 3 seconds thinking about how much the words that are going to come out of their mouths will affect people, I think the world will be a better place. Less hate, more love. Something that I conclude, is impossible to achieve in our society these days, evidently. Some people should just screw off AND screw out of my life. Seriously -.-

Thinking back about my life in the past 6 months/ JC life has made me realised how apt this quote is hmm. There are many things that I would do differently if I had the chance to turn back time and relive those days again. But with that said, I don’t entirely regret every single decision (be it major or small) in my life. I’m sure that at those point in times, there were factors that made me behave/react in certain ways. Although I admit sometimes I wish I was more … daring in certain aspects haha. I’ll leave that as a mystery (: Go figure. I’m not telling.

LIFE LOOKS SO CALM & CAREFREE IN THIS PICTURE. Wish I could live such a life. Technically … I am not amidst all the worrying about things & handling life. Wonder what life in the next 4 years will be like, it suddenly dawned upon me that I’m gon enrol in UNIVERSITY now lolol late much? Whole new chapter in life, hope it will be exciting & I promise I will be a good girl and study hard (: And … that’s what I say all the time haha whoooops. Shall see how life goes!

Heart of ice

Heart of ice so pretty! (: I love all my friends really. Especially those few whom I talk to often, for always making my day/being lame with me/ comforting me when I’m sad/ just chillaxing & talking to me really. You guys always make my day :* Anyway … It may not be obvious but, it takes a lot for me to trust & open up to people. So if I give you that trust, don’t abuse it. Don’t make my heart turn to ice, and choose to be emotionless instead, just so I won’t get hurt hahah ):

x till then