Before the dawn

Because whatever that’s said above is probably what’s getting me through these few days. I’ll just take it as a form of deterrence, something that’s like an obstacle I’m bound to face no matter what. If it’s something I’m meant to do, I know eventually, somehow, I will end up in that direction again.

I’m warning you, if you’re expecting some happy fluffy exciting post about how awesome my life is, then I suggest you just exit endlessparadigm now. Whatever’s coming up ain’t gonna be as pretty as you expect it to be.

I’d be lying if I say I’m fine. In fact I am far from being alright, it’s just that I don’t see a reason in expressing those negative feelings in front of others anymore. Not like it will help me feel better right? It just makes me feel so pathetic, somehow. Ugh whatever, it’s something I’ll learn to live with, albeit it really hurting (and while we’re still at it, it hurts a lot okay) -.-

So just … yeah. And it doesn’t help when some senseless people person chooses to ruin my already ruined mood the day after everything was finalised -.- It took 10000% of determination not to just reply in the form of snapping back, or simply just ” _|_ “. Hey I was nice enough to entertain your lame requests, so please learn that everything has a limit. Including my patience AND tolerance for such childish/selfish words.

I’m sorry that all my posts these days have been of nothing but angst, there’s just a lot going on right now and if I don’t vent them out on this platform I swear I’ll just go crazy someday ugh -__- Today’s the last day of June, I’m sincerely hoping that the second half of 2013 will be infinite times better than the first half.

To everyone out there having a bad day/time/mood, cheer up (: I know it’s easier said than done. But always tell yourself, you’re ultimately the only one you can rely on. If you don’t help yourself get better, then who will? Everyone comes and goes off at some point in time, as harsh as that reality may seem. In the end, you’re left to fend for yourself.

I hate acting fine, it makes me feel even worse on the inside ): Nobody will ever understand how I feel okay. But I’ll get better, I’ll get stronger, and I won’t let anything tear me down no more.

Nothing ever happens like you imagine it will.

And I learnt that the hard way.

x

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