Can you smile?

“She smiles from time to time, definitely a charming smile, but it’s always limited somehow, a smile that never goes beyond the moment. A high invisible wall surrounds her, holding people at arm’s length.”

The picture quote above is so apt for all the eLements/Inspirits out there who are hurting because of the news that Myungsoo & Kim Do Yeon dated before. Many thoughts about this issue which I’ve shared with ’em fellow Inspirits. Spent an hour or so (and it was a mistake) browsing through the #myungsoo hashtag on tumblr, read so so so many posts on the stands that various fans out there have on this matter. Reading all of those made me feel a whirlpool of emotions – bitter, bittersweet, sad, sour, and quite surprisingly – true love. There were so many fans out there who were hurting, yet amidst all the pain they feel, they’re wishing the best for Myungsoo. So many open letters written by Inspirits to Kim Do Yeon, one of which has been circulating more than others, and I quote:

To: Kim Do Yeon

In case you and Kim Myungsoo will be together someday, love him as much as you can. Love him more than we do. He’s really a good guy, he makes us cry, laugh, happy and everything. Please take good care of him. Please don’t hurt him and don’t leave him, because we, Inspirits, really really love him so so much and we’re really hurt about this. But there’s nothing we can do but to accept it. These things were really hard to say but yeah. We need to support him and you. And that’s our part, a part of being a fan. Just a fan </3

– Inspirits/myungsoo stans.

That last line really struck me hard. And I applaud this Inspirit’s courage to be able to write such an impactful message. Everyone’s hurting in this matter – hell I’m feeling the sadness despite being a dongwoo-biased. Hopefully this matter will die down soon ): And the last thing we need is for this to cause Infinite to have an internal fight (again).   

Realised most of my posts these days are revolving around kpop/Infinite hmm. This shouldn’t be the way, I need to stop being so obsessed – but no it won’t make me any less an Inspirit, and that’s for sure.

Hmm yeah, my life right now. So tired, physically & emotionally drained. Finals, among other bits & pieces going on right now, are sucking the hell out of my life. And it gets so tiring sometimes you know? I should really stop thinking too much it’s detrimental in all ways possible. Cleared 60% of my finals already, this deserves a celebration because hey, first sem of uni & I managed to survive 3 papers on the same day for finals *pops confetti* hahah. So much for wanting to plan my timetable properly, way to go yey me. Currently 03:01, and tired. But it’s a different kind of tired, the kind of tired that sleep can’t fix. I’ll continue mugging for linear alg after this post, I promise. Two more papers left before I conclude Y1S1 as an NUS FASS student. This sem has been full of ups and downs, wanted to do a summary post about uni & all, but maybe I’ll save that for my concluding 2013 post (: 2014 is arriving so soon, how time flies. May the remaining of 2013 be better sigh ):

Earlier today, Amanda told me this:

“Your happiness won’t fall from the sky. Make it happen.”

So true, so true indeed x


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