2013 in words.

“In January I adopted the motto “I am gonna make it through this year even if it kills me” and I would just like to applaud 2013 for trying its damnedest.” 

Time is ticking, Happy New Year’s Eve to everyone! I’ll be lying if I said 2013 has been a good one, because despite all the happy & gratifying moments I’ve experienced, 2013 was generally hell of a year I’ve experienced. Comparing the me in Jan 2013 and the me in Dec 2013, undoubtedly I’ve changed quite a bit. Morphing into someone with changes in terms of personality & perspectives on things like friendship and other things. Sidenote, this is going to be a really general post!

This year I felt a lot

This year I laughed a lot

This year I met new people

This year I left old people

This year I loved a lot

And I cried a lot this year

And I experienced a lot this year

And I changed a lot this year

And that change is the most valuable thing

2013. The year where I first stepped into the (somewhat) real working industry, by working as a temp admin assistant @ MND-BCA. Waking up early to take the train to work was insane, considering how we had to squeeeeze with the working crowd and survive the train ride all the way to Tanjong Pagar oh my gosh. Approximately 1h15min to get to work every morning, then working the typical 8.30am-6pm kind of life. It has been a good exposure, and it made me realize how important it was to find a job in the future that I am truly passionate about, such that I will be willing to wake up early every morning & look forward to going to work LOL. But with all that said, so thankful for PDMD to have taken care of me so well despite being just a temp admin there (: And for always chatting with me & checking to see if I was too bored at work. It’s the people who make such things much more enjoyable, and my first working experience for approx 5 months or so, ended on a really good note (:

After working the standard office life, I have gotten myself another responsibility. Currently a tuition teacher, teaching math & chinese hee (: It’s a huuuge responsibility imo, these kids have pinned their hopes on me to help them improve in time for PSLE in 2014. Thankful to have seen how my tutee has progressed so much and the big improvements in their results, it makes me feel so heartened, and a reassurance that hey, I’m actually really able to help them! Aiming for nothing but an A* for both math & chinese in PSLE, because I have that much faith in my tutee. Teaching is really such a joy (‘:

2013 is a defining year. It defined who, or rather it has subtly guided me into making decision of my future path – by finalizing my uni/major choice. I remember how unsure/skeptical I was of what I want to apply for upon receiving my A’s results on 1 March 2013. I’m going to say for sure, now, that I know I haven’t chosen the wrong major (: I’m contented to be in NUS FASS, albeit it wasn’t my initial choice (or rather I was torn between this & another choice that … doesn’t serve any significance anymore). With this, I remember the few months where I was literally freaking out over potential offer/call for intv for my other choice, and all the friends who have been there to encourage me with all that insane worrying going on. Maybe I’m not destined for that path, yeah sometimes thinking back I really wonder why I didn’t get any news since the cut off grade was waaaaaaaay lower than the cut off grade for NUS FASS hmm. But it’s fine (: Because being in NUS, being in FASS, has gained me exposure to a whole new level of excitement and experience.

With that said, my first semester as a university student has officially ended! It started off really well, with arts oweek 2013, ConspirARTSy’13! Happy to belong to A4 Aiumph, possibly one of the best OGs I’ll ever be in. Memorable (in a good way) start, happy to have made new friends, considering how socially awkward I am with strangers. Results aren’t up to expectations, so it’s a promise to myself to work harder from next sem onwards. For one, I’ll need to make sure that I diligently attend all lectures & tutorials (and actually pay attention, or at least attempt to). Kind of looking forward to school starting, but at the same time I still wanna enjoy my holidays, ah wellllllll.

Among all these new experiences/life-changing decisions in my life, I am thankful that old friendships are still going on strong! Don’t want to mention names here, but those who matter so much to me will know/feel it (: And perhaps receive a personalized message when the clock strikes midnight tonight hee. Haven’t decided if I’ll be hardworking enough to do that buuuuut, I’ll try my best. Really thankful for people who keep me sane through tough times, friends who make me feel the love & feel so touched, friends who are there for me because they are willing to. There’s a saying where friendships that last 7 years will last for a lifetime. But no, I don’t believe in that. Because I have friendships that haven’t lasted for 7 years but I am more than sure that they would be friendships for a lifetime (‘: So thank you to all these friends out there!

Last but not least, this marks the first year (and a few days) where I have been an Inspirit! Never in my life would I have imagined being whirled into this whole kpop saga, but I’m not regretting anything. I’m thankful to be an Inspirit, for Infinite! It’s amazing how I’ve been exposed to so many kpop groups by my sis for the past few years and none caught my eyes/heart, and it’s even more amazing for how I actually became an Inspirit, just from one reality programme that I watched for an hour because the sis was watching. Maybe this is really Destiny (‘: And thank you to my dearest Inspirit family for fuelling my fangirl heart + having someone to spazz with all the time! Apart from being an Inspirit, I’m a part time Babyz. So as of 2013 I am glad to have been to the concert of both my bias groups (with Infinite as the main of course). 8 Aug 2013 for BAP concert, and 5 Oct 2013 for Infinite concert. I’ve seen my two bias groups in real life how fortunate *o*

But being sensible, I know that fangirling has taken up a lot of my time and effort. From now on, studies will be of priority! I’m not saying that I’ll stop being a fangirl because I know that is technically impossible, but I’ll dedicate more time studying, and making sure that I don’t compromise anything just because of kpop, because it really isn’t worth it as much as it has brought me a lot of fun & happiness in my life this year. I’ll learn to be more sensible from now on, always prioritise (:

In 2013, I had experienced a fair share of tears laughter happiness sadness, all emotions possible. Didn’t think that I would have survived it but hey looking back, I did it. Everyone did it. If you’re reading this, you did it as well, so give yourself a pat on the back. One of my new life motto is to always be optimistic. If you can’t change things, try looking at them from a different perspective, make yourself happier (: Bad or good, life still goes on. Used to post new year resolutions on my blog but as I grow older, these things get more personal so nope, no more posting ’em here.

In 2014, I hope that everyone around me will be happier. Happy with their grades, happy with their relationships, happy with their lives. Sincerely hoping that I’ll make 2014 a good one, and a meaningful one. No more procrastination, no more lack of priorities, no more regrets. I’m going to plant cherry tomatoes on 1 Jan ’14, the most hilarious yet meaningful birthday present I’ve got this year from my two best FASS seniors/friends/inspirits! (Maybe I’ll post about all the birthday surprises etc that I’ve gotten some time soon) Can’t wait to plant my cherry tomatoes, hopefully they will grow well! Life will get better eventually, it always will. Cherry tomatoes, may we both grow well together & experience the upcoming happy days in 2014!

New year, new book, new resolutions, may it be a good year ahead! (: This will be the last post of 2013! May endlessparadigm see happier posts in the new year ahead. Goodbye 2013, thank you for being in my life, but it’s time for you to go. Because 2014 is coming in 10 hours’ time.

2014, bring it on. I’m ready for you.

Friends stay golden


This picture pretty much sums up today (‘: Thankful for this insane crazy unpredictable awesome friends, who kickstarted my birthday celebrations for this year. Genuinely caught off guard about this double surprise, while Yumin actually could foresee it happening … and this is why I’m always stuck at Tier 3 in our Hierarchy clique LOL. Really thankful for the effort put in, the planning was crazy especially since it was a simultaneous birthday surprise (:

And it was really fun just catching up with them. It’s just great to get together again & chat about random stuff. Too tired to talk about more stuff now, shall update proper/edit this post tmr!

Just know that, I’m really feeling so fortunate to have these people in my life x

Living in ruins


My favorite season is approaching really quickly, in just 11 days the Christmas bells will be ringing YEY. Never questioned myself why x’mas is my favorite season, but now that I think about it, I’m guessing it’s highly likely because my birthday falls just one day after Christmas. And birthdays are really important to me – after all everyone only gets to celebrate their birthdays once a year, doesn’t that make it special & unique already? (: But there are cons on placing so much emphasis on birthdays as well hmm. Whatever it is, Christmas is coming & I’m really excited *o* 

Holidays have been awesome so far, several outings/meetups with friends + just chillaxing at home & watching dramas/variety shows that I’ve missed ‘cos of school/finals. 17 days to the last day of 2013, this year felt so surreal I can’t believe it’s ending already, time really flies. Can’t wait to sum up 2013 in an upcoming post, that will prolly be posted nearer the end of the year (: Currently not going out these few days to pack my stuff at home … packing is no easy feat ugh I hate packing ): But it makes me happy seeing everything placed so neatly, everyone has a certain level of OCD in them ultimately. Really love my revamped study table, pasted poster/polaroids/photographs/quotes on the wall in front of me. With such a pleasant view right in front of my eyes I’m definitely going to be at my study table a lot more from now on HAHA.

December is reaaaally happening. I like it. & can’t wait to have meetups with cousins, gon meet them thrice in the coming weeks before the year ends LOL. Excited for the x’mas party, and also to meet Huiling’s Japanese family! It has been YEARS since she has been back to SG, can’t wait to see my Jap baby niece *o* 

One main highlight so far is definitely Think Your Way Out (TYWO), with Yumin + Simin + Meina + Qijin + my sis! I’ve always wanted to participate in such an event, and my dream came true omg. Basically, TYWO was insane madness & fun & mind boggling, we were given exactly an hour to solve the mystery (aka diffuse the bomb), where we had to search for clues & solve pieces of puzzles altogether to ultimately complete the mission. Many ridiculous happenings, including stripping the mannequin (when we were not supposed to LOL), it was a genuine mistake HAHA. But whatever it is, thankful for the awesome company, thankful for the great first experience in a reality escape-the-room game ^^

Over the past few days I know a lot of thoughts I wanted to blog about, but always became too lazy to start typing away (in fact idk how I managed to actually type all these so far LOL). Completed watching Master’s Sun earlier in the month, horror-romance k drama, mega nice, and definitely going to rewatch when I have time! Just completed Laws of the Jungle Season 9, it’s a variety show with Infinite’s Sungyeol as one of the guests (: And in this season they explored Caribbean & Maya Jungle. Watched it for both yeollie AND the concept of this show – there’s something about surviving in the jungles & adapting to the wildlife that seriously intrigues me LOL. Watching all the breathtaking scenes & places of Earth that they go to explore, how they struggle to even stay alive by settling the basic needs like fire housing etc. It … honestly reminds me of Guiding days, starting a fire from twigs etc, pitching tents, basically the outdoor life. Brings back bittersweet memories (‘:

Turning 19 in 12 days, how cool is that. Not at all actually LOL but most of my friends have turned 19 already, and turning 19 signifies that it isn’t a legit reason anymore to use my age to explain my occasional lameness/behavior hmm. Anyway the picture-quote below is so legit, it’s time to make certain decisions in life, but honestly don’t know what to believe in anymore.



Drive by


Really have a thing for skater skirts so prettyyy *o*

I know there’s a severe lack of updates ever since finals ended … I’ll come up with a proper post soon I promise! Too many activities going on these days (not that I’m complaining) so yup too drained / tired ugh.

Can’t wait to head out tomorrow again to meet some of the best people in my life – and play TYWO hee. More about it tomorrow, really really excited hope we will be able to complete the mission/task!


Because I’m really contented with my life right now, please let it remain this way x

Happy 19th

Displaying photo.JPG

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY AMANDA ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

“Friends are hard to find. In a lifetime you only get a few. And when you find them, you always know them by sight and heart alone, you always grow a bit taller in your soul, and you know you have been blessed just to know them.”

5 years (& counting) of friendship, countless number of insane moments, so many secrets she has guarded well for me, and all of these make this friendship such an important one for me. Classmates from sec 3 to J2 straight, uni life really really sucks (& still not used to) without having this insane girl around. Especially since I’m so used to having random chats/doodles on her paper during boring lessons – perks of having such an entertaining tablepartner (:

Being in different faculties now & having much less meetups due to conflicting + busy schedules, still thankful that we’re still close enough to dare to be crazy. And hopefully our friendship will stay true & strong (: Shan’t say too much here, everything I need to say is in the text/birthday letter.

Happy 19th birthday Amanda, may your birthday be a memorable one ^^ December babies ftw.

So so thankful for the presence of this girl in my life, I don’t know where to start to count my blessings from x