It’s so funny
the memories give me such a hard time
and make me feel lonely
But those memories are like gravity
Pulling all of my heart to you
I can’t escape
While the earth went four times around the sun
I longed for you and
Erased you hundreds of times
Ixora; the flower that you see so often along the streets – somehow made into the list of my favorite flowers because of a special reason. Because it was where I belonged for 3 out of 4 years in my Guiding life. This is a belated post, but sincere nevertheless. 22 February 2014 marked World Thinking Day for the Brownies/Girl Guides family, so Happy (belated) World Thinking Day to my fellow sister Guides out there, all over the world :’)
There have been random bouts of nostalgia hitting me since, & I truly miss the days where I had the responsibility as a Girl Guide. It seems rather surreal joining a Uniformed Group when I was just a sec 1 in NY, without knowing what to expect/what’s in stall for me. But the journey of Guiding in those 4 years have changed my life forever – no kidding. Starting out as a sec 1 member in Swallow Patrol in 2007, I proceeded to (coincidentally) be a member of Ixora Patrol from 2008 to 2009, and as the Patrol Leader of Ixora in 2010.
Guiding taught me friendship, discipline, perseverance, responsibility, respect. It allowed me to venture into activities that I’d never have imagined to be doing. From outdoor cooking to footdrill, not once did I regret joining this Guiding family. I admit Guiding gave me waaay more stress than I had to – evident from the nightmares I get the night before every weekly CCA session from sec 1 to 3, and the nightmare was always the same, being late for CCA, turning up in the wrong attire, forgetting how to tie certain knots & lashes, etc. But at least to me it was worth it, I’ve gained a lot of experience from this and I genuinely don’t regret anything at all 🙂
The most memorable thing would probably be pioneer training in sec 4 with Sox11. It was tough being PGA-nominees, having to fulfill so many requirements, train so much harder, study for the interviews etc. But pioneer training was (one of) the highlights of my Guiding life. I miss firelighting despite frequently getting cuts/burns etc. I remember all of us being dejected because we weren’t able firelight in time to get the water in the mess tins boiling during our very first pioneer training. I remember rushing during recess breaks to meet up & practice e-shelter or tent-pitching.
Camps. ATC 2007 + ATC 2008 + LTC 2009 + ATC 2009 + ATC 2010. Each camp gave me new insights to life, allowing me to view matters from different perspectives, making me a better person on the whole. Multiple occurrences of tears shed in these 4 years during camps for different reasons altogether, but Guides camps are just a whole new level. I miss sleeping in tents that we pitched on our own, waking up every morning to tidy up our tents for patrol inspection, and for colours every morning in camp. Definitely not the leisure camps that other CCAs might have, after all we are a uniformed group. Discipline.
This might sound stupid but … I miss roll call. To think we were all afraid of doing roll call at first, and I remember meeting up with batchmates/other PLs to practice roll call after PLCs on Tuesdays. The way our hearts swelled the times when we had perfectly coordinated roll call procedures without timings, those were the good old days :’)
Alright that has been a nice trip down memory lane, but I should head back to reality and move on with my life. Regardless of all the ups and downs, all the complications involved, several regrets that still exist, I am proud of my Guiding life, proud to be part of NYGG Batch ’07, proud to have gotten a chance to lead Ixora Patrol, proud to have survived those 4 years.
Once a Guide, always a Guide.
Hopefully this is really true, that good things are going to happen (& hopefully soon!) Kind of feel like my life is lacking some excitement/ meaning these days … it’s back to the mundane studying-sleeping lifestyle again hmm. Uni life is really taking a toll on my sanity these days, I’m so sorry to all my friends who have been receiving crazy snapchats from me/ nonsensical whatsapp messages & what-nots HAHA. But it’s really amusing/funny to see friends go crazy with me, especially when it’s always a snapchat party with all the crazy ones like “spying on ____”, there were at least 30 snaps exchanged just purely on the random stuff we spy on. Always welcome more snapchat buddies because seriously, I head there everytime I’m bored (that’s pretty often imo) hee.
‘ve been wanting to blog about last fri but evidently never gotten down to doing so … so here’s it! Had such a pleasant surprise last fri in school. Adelyn sc-ed me showing me she was at the Deck, so I was really happy already because it’s so rare to see her these days since I’m in NUS but she isn’t. Made my way to deck while calling her to get her exact location, and she told me there were friends there whom I know too. And when I arrived … I freaking saw Susi Rachael Vivian there as well, I swear I could burst into tears at that point in time. And hence it turned into an unplanned 111’07/211’08 gathering, I miss the carefree days in NY so damn much. Especially Adelyn & Susi, it’s sad how we don’t get to meet up so often now because we are all in different unis, leading different lives & bounded by diff schedules etc ): The two closest friends I’ve gotten since sec 1, it has been long, but we grow, we all grow up together :’) Reminisced & caught up with each other it was pure bliss really. Talking back to the days where we were so young innocent carefree & what-not, life has really changes a lotttt since those secondary school days. This bunch of lovelies made my NYGH life start on such a good note! On a random note, I conclude that Adelyn is seriously the coolest friend I have due to various reasons HAHA.
So last fri ended on a good note because of them, and tomorrow will be an awesome end to the week as well, can’t wait for lessons to end so I get to meet people who matter so damn much to me. And not forgetting upcoming concert to support my hierarchy babe, so excited already *o*
I guess I should add that … I’ve survived 2/3 midterms for this sem already *pops confetti* Biopsych was over on tues + psych stats I was over on wed! Only left with social psych midterms which are after recess week and … purely MCQ. Thankful that recess week won’t be as tiring as last sem’s, but of course it’s still going to be full of studying & proj work. Not that I’m complaining, I feel that I’ve gotten it easier than some others who have to lug through notes after notes during the upcoming recess week. Excited to study for social psych too, because it’s an interesting aspect of psychology that I might consider dwelling into. Haven’t exactly decided much yet for certain, let’s just see how things go along the way.
It’s not enough, it’s not enough to get me
What is it I want
It’s not enough, it’s not enough to get me
Everything I need
And I wish, I wish it was
I think it’s time
To give this up
May everyone around me get happier x
Singing radiohead at the top of our lungs
With the boombox blaring as we’re falling in love
Got a bottle of whatever but it’s getting us drunk
Singing here’s to never growing up
15 February 2014 marks the night where I first met Avril Lavigne in real life. And it was purely amazing + perfection. The first split second I saw her in real life … it was so damn surreal. I still can’t believe it *o*
Got really hyped up & overwhelmed with feels during the entire concert, it was mega insane with all the screaming/shouting/singing & what-nots! She sang a total of 17 songs, all of which were live (with her awesome band who performed alongside Avril for the entire concert). Thankful that our seats were all the way in front at the first row, with a perfect view of the entire stage *o*
[UPDATED] Going to add in the set-list because I don’t ever want to forget any of the songs that I have witnessed Avril perform live!
Rock N Roll
Here’s To Never Growing Up
I Always Get What I Want
Let Me Go
My Happy Ending
Don’t Tell Me
What The Hell
I’m With You
The 2 songs that struck me the most was Complicated + I’m With You. Okay to be fair, ALL the songs made me have goosebumps & made me overwhelmed with all the feels that I could possibly feel in that instance. Avril has THAT kind of a great impact on me, no kidding.
Complicated – how Avril mentioned during the concert that it was her first song ever in her career – her debut song in 2002. The way she sang it with so much passion, how her vocals completely serenaded the entire indoor stadium, how sincere she sounded in every single lyric she sang out tonight. She acknowledged all the Black Stars that stayed with her since day 1, it gives off such a fuzzy feeling :’) After all, it has been 12 whole years, it wasn’t an easy feat but she did it. And these were her exact words she said:
I started the Avril Lavigne tour a couple of weeks ago, and I’m so happy to be here in Singapore tonight. And i want to thank anybody out there, and dedicate this song to everybody out there who has been a fan of mine since Day 1. Thank you so much, this is my very first single, Complicated.
I’m With You – this was the final song of the concert. Calm & peaceful song, everyone in the audience was singing along with Avril, how she looked so happy that we all knew all the lyrics despite I’m With You being one of the earlier songs she released (looong ago). And in that moment I felt the pure bliss & happiness :’) I didn’t know the people around me personally (except for my sis aka awesome videographer for the night thanks sis), but at that moment, we all knew we were proud Black Stars for Avril Lavigne.
I’m really really really thankful to have been able to see her perform live tonight. I got to witness her pop punk princess attitude, listen to her powerful vocals sing live & going so steady throughout the entire concert. I don’t regret one bit being a Black Star since young, because her songs are my inspiration, to get me through the rough days :’) All the lyrics, the melody of songs that she arranged & composed on her own, it’s more than sincere, it’s simply genuine.
Won’t say much about this, but it’s definitely a night worth remembering & reminiscing, a night that I’ll etch in my memory forever, a night that I’ll give anything just to experience it all over again. I’m still mega overwhelmed with feels now omg. After all, there’s something magical in seeing your all-time favorite performer right in front of your eyes, serenading the audience with her songs (‘:
15 February 2014, The Avril Lavigne Tour (Live in Singapore), thank you for the memories x
It’s a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won’t you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don’t know who you are but,
I’m with you (‘:
Stop looking at the past and all the things you can’t change. They’re done and over with. Now is the time for you to look to the future, grasp it by the hand, and decide where you want to go.
Today is an awesome day so it deserves a post! Had social psych paper presentation/re-enactment this morning, thankful it went pretty well, with minimum hiccups here & there. Overall, felt like it was a decent presentation, although we were waaay under time. But hey, let’s just say we’re efficient that way HAHA (who am I kidding). Thank you to all my friends who wished me all the luck they could give me, & all the random chats etc during these few days. All the small actions mean a lot to me, I’m a person with many emotions, I realised – In a way where I tend to be more sensitive to little actions etc, that others might or might not see.
Can’t believe that we managed to put up the presentation in such a short span of time, so proud of ourselves really. First official meetup last Friday, came up with the script + slides over the weekend, met up for 2 hours on Monday for re-enactment rehearsal, and we did our actual presentation this morning. Not only does this mark my first presentation this sem, it also marks my first presentation in my uni life (as mentioned before), so it really meant a lot to me. Grateful for my group members who make things less awkward, that we’re able to freely talk to each other etc, & open up so we will feel comfortable around each other. Mega excited for our final major social psych project, I foresee all the fun, laughter & what-nots already :’)
On a sidenote, I think I laugh too easily, & I laugh at things that people don’t really find funny hmm. Not sure if this is a good thing or not, but it’s so weird how sometimes I’m laughing so hard yet the rest aren’t able to empathise with how I feel/laugh along with me ): And I think I really need to start acting like I’m 19-turning-20 this year. Growing up, I’ve imagined how mature people turn when they hit/are going to hit the 20s, but evidently I still don’t behave like I’m a young adult right now hee. I’ll try, I promise! To the best of my abilities.
Downloaded a few more books into my phone, I have no idea why I am still downloading them when I have approximately 10 books waiting in line to be read. It’s more of like “stocking up”, after all reading on the phone is an efficient way to some extent hee (: And … I finally managed to find the PDF for Lang Leav’s Love & Misadventures *o* I’ve been trying to find it for days/weeks/months, and I finally.found.it. Imagine my happiness omg, I really love all the poems/quotes in Love & Misadventures, & I’ll try to get my hands on a copy someday. Because such books are definitely worth keeping for a long long time, all the quotes inside are so tumblr worthy & apt (to a certain extent).
I need time, personal time to catch up on everything I’ve been lagging behind. Be it catching up with friends about our lives, downloading & listening to my favorite songs, watching my dramas (like YWCFTS, PLL & Survivor), or just enjoying some peace & quietness alone. But time is never on our side, and time/timing can be a bitch too. Go figure. Alright I really should continue with my marketing assignment since it’s due … tomorrow. NO FINISH NO SLEEP, YOU CAN DO IT SHIAOWEI.
(Before I end this post) I am really mega super duper excited for Avril Lavigne’s concert in Singapore in … 3 days’ time *o* Literally grew up listening to her songs since I was 8 y-o, her songs are my inspiration. Shall end this post with a quote from one of my faves from Avril Lavigne (though I must stress that ALL songs are awesome) x
It doesn’t matter what we do
you make everything seem brighter
I never knew I needed you
Like a sad time needs a sea of lighters
What is it I’m feeling?
‘Cause I can’t let it go
If seeing is believing,
then I already know
I’m falling fast,
I hope this lasts,
I’m falling hard for you.
But I’m only human,
And I bleed when I fall down
I’m only human
And I crash & I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
I’m only human
Finally an update again, after many hectic days (although I’m still really, really busy right now), but it’s always important to take some personal time out to update about my life & what-nots (: So yup, here I am, typing away as time passes.
The quote above is from my latest addiction – Human by Christina Perri. These songs automatically appeal to me because of the lyrics, it’s so heartfelt/relatable, and so raw so real. And it really makes a huuuuge impact on my liking for a song, normally songs that have nice lyrics are the ones I’ll listen to for a longer time. Christina Perri’s vocals are insane as well, coupled with the addictive melody, Human is really a song that’s worth the time to check out/listen to, and get addicted to it eventually hee. Looking forward to the release of her new album some time in April 2014, Head or Heart.
Really nervous yet excited for Wednesday, as it will mark my first ever presentation in uni! It’s amazing how I haven’t had any presentations up till now, while everyone around me had at least one presentation already. Whatever it is, hoping for the best, and that our presentation/re-enactment will go smoothly! Social psych presentations are really cool/interesting, mega excited for the next major project for social psych because it’s to come up with a children’s story book, how cool is that HAHA. Thankful that I’m grouped with a bunch of people whom I’m comfortable working with, at least it wasn’t so awkward or anything when we were having our first discussion on Friday! x fingers, please let the presentation run through smoothly!
The coming two weeks will be really busy with social psych presentation + marketing indiv assignment due + biopsych midterms + psych stats midterms. It’ll be upcoming late nights hmm. Tiring, but yes I’ll get through it, because eventually everyone will get past all these. It’s waaay easier studying when you realise why, or rather what you’re studying for. Makes studying turn into something that’s truly worth it, instead of being perceived as a burden or whatsoever.
I miss my friends ): I genuinely miss the days where I look forward to going to school every morning because of my awesome clique. Walking to the class bench to be greeted with familiar faces, despite all of us being lethargic & just stoning/sleeping at the class bench. I miss having a class bench ): I remember how we used to complain about merely having a class bench & no fixed classroom, but it’s better than uni. We don’t even get a class bench at all, it’s just LTs/tutorial classrooms, & hanging around at random benches along walkways/in the library. And it really doesn’t help that the campus is so huuuge, I practically get lost every other day in my own faculty, what a fail haha. Can’t there be a time machine & let me head back to the days of NY/HC life ):
Random fact: I love sour stuff. Especially lemons/passionfruit. Lemon lollipops are my ultimate favorite hee (: I’m feeling so random today. Valentines’ Day is coming YAY (not like it matters/makes a difference), but I suddenly thought about how we’d always buy chocs for each other in school, labelling v.day as friendship day/foreveralone day instead. Those were the good times :’)
This is so true, thoughts are really the most dangerous things on earth hmm. On a sidenote, lazy shiao needs to remove her nail polish because they’re all grown out/chipping off it’s so ugly. But then again, lazy shiao is lazy HAHA bye world x