Tongue Tied

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Woke up this morning with a mind to set things right from this week onward, in order to mug hard/well for the upcoming finals. Came up with a schedule to follow over the weekends, and despite being conscious of planning fallacy – and how I have fallen victim to it countless of times – I’m still going to try my best to abide by the schedule to the best of my abilities πŸ™‚

The past few days/the past week has been nothing but frustration & hectic. Didn’t really show it to my friends because well, everyone has their own problems to handle, I didn’t want to add on. And I definitely don’t want to burden my friends by making them worry or whatsoever. There’s nothing I can’t survive, that’s what I keep telling myself, because I have got through 19 years of problems, I’ve found myself to be in predicaments, but I’m still here, ain’t I?

It is not an understatement when I say that the past week has been insane and so tiring, it drained the life out of me. I wake up every morning dragging myself out of bed, performing the daily routine, going to school, and attempting to survive school. I just want to sleep and sleep and never wake up and all problems will just fade away. Perhaps starting to lose myself, I don’t know and I don’t care any longer.

With that said, I think it’s pretty amazing how a particular friend is able to see through all these facades of mine. It has been more than once, more than twice, in fact many times upon realizing that I’m not exactly feeling the best I could. And the care/concern has been felt multiple times, so thank you from the bottom of my heart, it really means a lot πŸ™‚

Don’t know why I’m so affected by this, perhaps because you mean a lot in my life more than you’d even realize. It wasn’t even supposed to hurt this much, it might have been passing remarks, but now it’s carved in my heart. And it still hurts, as much as I try not to think about it. What a silly girl I am, for breaking down every single time such things happen. Time will let it fade away haha.

I’m just venting all these rants & frustrations here because without this platform I’ll really go crazy soon. Considering to lock up endlessparadigm hmm. I guess I should mention some of the better things that have been happening πŸ™‚

Korean BBQ session with the JC clique last Friday night, great end to the week. Catching up, fighting to cook, all the small episodes of laughter & ridiculousness during that few hours really did make me feel better. Friends do stay golden after all these while (‘:

And yesterday hmm. It finally rained (: It was strangely therapeutic enough, and it’s currently drizzling again (: Now all the flowers around won’t all wither and die due to the lack of water/rain!

Lastly, Amanda introduced this really awesome game called 2048, madly addictive. Managed to get 2048 once, currently trying to aim for consistent 2048s and then proceed to attain 4096!

Apart from everything shitty that has been happening, life is good x

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