As we grow up, one important thing to realize is the inevitable progression of how things changed. From how they used to be, to how they are now. Perhaps some events are undeniably due to circumstance, and yet some are driven by the force of personal choices.
How sad it is, to be aware of such changes, to witness what was once relevant turn into something of little to no importance. The more I experience progressions, the more I appreciate constants; but maybe that’s just me. Not everyone acknowledges the little things in life, and merely take them for granted. How sad it is, to witness replacements, just because something better came along the way? To ditch the past just to embrace the new, that’s just nothing but ruthless & selfish. Just think about the people who have been there since day 1, or the people whom actually showed the care & concerns. It’s not even the case where the same amount of care etc is expected to be reciprocated, but isn’t there just the slight tint of guilt from your careless & hurtful actions or words (albeit unintentionally, or perhaps it was intentional – we’ll never know)? Maybe this time, we’re finally done trying.
It’s oddly fascinating yet excruciatingly upsetting how things work around in life. The way people can feel so connected … yet disconnected all at once. A close friend shared this with me earlier today: “As we grow up, our judgements get less clouded.” Sure there’re changes, but it hasn’t been all that drastic. Being the same with little discrepancies, it has been that way all along – we just fail to see the realities of how matters actually are. After all, don’t we all grow together? Or at least we thought we did. If you want to jump off the ride we have been riding together for such a long time, so be it. Just a note of caution, we’re humans too, and the hurt has been done already anyway. So much for the one-sided care sometimes, it gets tiring. And it clearly doesn’t help that it ain’t one-off, but rather a vicious cycle. I don’t believe in labelling “ignorance” as an excuse any longer, like we did in the past. This time, no excuses.
And it all boils down to priorities, or the lack thereof.
On a sidenote, saw this quote on Tumblr a few days back which I found to be really true.
I think I fall in love a little bit with anyone who shows me their soul.
This world is so guarded and fearful.
I appreciate rawness so much.
If the world was less calculative and filled with more love, gratitude and genuine people, it might be a better place to grow up in. As such, I really do appreciate the times when people around me let their guard down, let me in, and open up to me, as much as I feel comfortable in confiding in them 🙂 I know for a fact that I have serious trust issues, but it’s amazing (though scary at the same time) how comfortable I feel to opening up to people I barely know. Guess it takes someone with a similar soul to truly understand what everything encompasses. For when two fragile people meet, sensitivity becomes a given, boundaries are broken down individually and built around the two; knowing that confidentiality is an unspoken promise.
For all that we’ve done/sacrificed, I think we deserve waaaaay better/more. At least now, I know the friendships/relationships worth cherishing x