Milestones

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We make such messes in this life, messes of different intensities. But wiping the surface clean doesn’t really make anything any neater. it just masks what is beneath. It’s only when you really dig down deep, go underground, that you can see who you really are.

endlessparadigm has been with me through the various stages in my uni life, and with this post, I’ll document yet another milestone – another crazy insane unbelievable decision finalised in the past two days. Not sure how it’ll all turn out, still overwhelmed, but with the support & advice from various people, I guess it’s really time to be daring enough to go for it. One year back, should anyone ask if I was interested, I would just laugh it off and lament on how my abilities for this are simply non-existent. Today, as I’m typing this, I admit that the self-doubt still exists, the uncertainty in this, but I’ll try, and do whatever it takes to ensure that I won’t jeopardise anything, and hopefully make a difference and contribute in the many little ways I can 🙂

It’ll be a hectic month ahead for preparations, and if everything turns out successfully, it’ll be a hectic AY ahead. Hoping to be able to tide through all these, for this learning journey & experience is one that’s hard to come by – and now that I have the chance, I’ll make the best of how things are. I must be crazy, but a good kind of crazy.

For someone who’s rather emotions-oriented, the past few days have allowed me to see all the support/care/concerns the people around me have, which is really heartening 🙂 For giving me advice, weighing the pros and cons of such a decision, being worried I would burn out, thinking if I would be able to juggle the various commitments etc etc, I’m so so touched and blessed to have such a wonderful group of friends around me 🙂 As a bonus, I even got advice from someone who’s so inspiring & to put it simply, a legend in this scene. So honoured HAHA lucky me.

It’ll definitely not be a smooth sailing journey ahead, but that’s where I get to learn from right? What’s a role without challenges, it’ll just mean I’m not doing enough – not being critical enough of situations, and just playing it safe. Which isn’t something I’m aiming for, should I assume this role in the coming AY.

Thank you to everyone who has allowed me to confide in them for the past few days, all your opinions mean a lot to me, and through this experience, I’ll try to be a better person, and a better leader.

Had the first meet-up to discuss goals/general direction yesterday, although we sidetracked waaaaay too much, I think the general consensus for the direction has been set. So excited, and with a hopeful heart, this journey will begin. At least for one, I know that there wouldn’t be a lack of support, and we’ll all progress together, and help each other out. I’m not alone in this 🙂

Jiayou shiao, trust yourself as much as others trust you x

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