Atelophobia

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I can feel it through your empty eyes & I can hear all the screaming thoughts in that chaotic mind of yours. One day you will realise that this moment and the ones before & after, will shape you into who you are and will be. Feelings are not permanent. Life is temporary. But you, you can take it & make it worthwhile.

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The past weeks have been hectic & hence the lack of updates on endlessparadigm. It’ll be ridiculous to say that I’m burnt out since it’s only week 6 and I’ve barely started studying. Thank goodness for only one mid-terms this sem, although the tradeoff meant that more social agency visits & assignments are in place. Not complaining or regretting though, for those experiential learning will definitely serve as a good platform to gain more insights into the sphere of social work 🙂

On a sidenote, really miss the times when it was actually possible to have frequent meetups with friends. Really missing those two enjoying life in Korea currently, but thanks (especially Y!!) for always listening to the stuff I have to say and really promoting the free expression & freedom of speech in our conversations heh. Can’t wait to Skype you guys soon, and glad that nothing’s changed despite being a million miles away.

Not sure if it’s time to move on & attempt to close this certain chapter of my life – and yet I catch myself being unwilling/unable to bring myself to do so. After all, this still means a lot to me & I am still in the phase where I’m not willing to forgo it. Shall see how things progress along the way, and let things unfold naturally.

I don’t exactly know why I’m letting certain matters affect me more than they should, but through these I guess it reflects the importance of matters/people in my life? It’s the little things in life that mean the most, and it’s exactly these things that keep you motivated & keep going on. And yet it’s always those little things that defines you; and can either make or break you.

Honestly the transition isn’t easy, and I’m still trying to come to terms with everything that’s going on, the responsibilities, & dispelling the worries & what-nots, but it’s really harder than it seems. And I’m still trying, it’s tiring but I’m really, really, still trying. Muffled appeals for help will serve no purpose at all any longer anyway. Perhaps given the circumstances, it’s time to be truly independent. Let’s just hope I’m up for it.

Till the next time, for a breather x

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