L’appel du vide

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Whenever, wherever; perhaps someday, things will slowly fall into place. Till then, all that’s anticipated shall be mystery. By then, all that’s left might be broken shards.

Haven’t had the time to update endlessparadigm for a while, and it is with utmost regret where I’ve to make a confession ……. I’m typing this while attending a lecture that has lost me since the beginning. This semester, I aim to work harder & take my studies more seriously, but with a higher commitment to studies meant burning out waaaaay faster than I’ve did before.

Fell into a slump for the past week albeit it being week 3 of the term only; but picking up bit by bit & catching up. Headed to the library for a short study session yesterday, which proved to be more productive than I’ve been since school started, so at least I’m heading somewhere (finally) 🙂

Reflections & deep thoughts. These are aspects that I’ve been interested in, but after certain encounters recently I realised how dangerous they can be if not dealt with carefully. For it’s one thing to be able to self-reflect, to engage in productive discussions about topics not commonly treaded on – for they provide new insights & new perspectives. Undoubtedly it’ll make life more meaningful. But what happens from then on? How do you ensure that people, while having a negative outlook in life, still strive for improvement & not just accept it as it is? I’ve seen for myself, people who end up being so pessimistic due to the clarity of their perception of the realities in the world & it’s just so … upsetting to witness.

Anyway, this year I learnt something the hard way. Being in different positions, different stages of life, really provides each individual with a different dominant perspective. These perspectives, when met with different views, clashes frequently & the outcome isn’t pleasant. I used to feel the need to explain myself all the time, to get people to understand why I’m thinking in a certain way – but this year, not anymore. Not everything requires an explanation, not everyone deserves an explanation. Because people who understand, will eventually understand. And those who are resistant to accept other viewpoints, will merely brush off explanations as excuses.

Alright it’s time for my next lecture, till the next time (may it be soon) x

Baby’s Breath

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Find balance in your life. Work hard but don’t let work take over your life, you will lose yourself. Love, but love for the right reasons. Life is too short for anything mediocre. Know who you are and know that you are worthy of reaching your dreams and that it is never too late to start creating that life you have always dreamed of. Do not compare yourself to others, that’s just deadly. No two souls are the same. You are your own person, you are beautiful and you are unique. Put your trust in the universe. Some things are just meant to happen, and some are not. Let go of whatever is stealing your happiness, it’s hard but it is worth it. Embrace change. Embrace life. Everything happens for a reason, sometimes you just need to breathe, trust and let go.

With half a month down, one word to sum up the first seventeen days would have to be: eventful. Eventful figuratively, and eventful literally.

Started the year with high hopes & expectations of how 2016 would unravel, and yet reality doesn’t prove to be as kind as I hoped it would be. Starting to pick up my pace, starting to learn how to deal with adversities in life. It has definitely been a rough start, but the reassurance would be that things can only get better from this point onwards, wouldn’t it? 🙂

So excited for what’s in place for me in this year, finally on the right track & actually knowing what I want to achieve in the future. Many plans lined up this year, it’ll get overwhelming at times, but it’ll be worth it – & hence I should give my all and enjoy the process while I’m at it 🙂

I really appreciate people who spend the time to check in with me, people who care about the things I’m going through & reassuring me that I’ll get through them. It means a lot to me. & thankful for those who remember the little things that affect me greatly, and ensuring that I don’t feel too uncomfortable when I have to step out of my comfort zone to do things that I would otherwise avoid at all costs. I’m trying hard to overcome certain challenges, but then again it’s easier said than done. It has been so long since then, but the memories still come back to haunt occasionally. This is getting frustrating.

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We need people in our lives whom we can be as open as possible. To have real conversations with people may seem like such a simple, obvious suggestion, but it involves courage & risk.

But until you find these people, there are some walks, you’d have to take alone.

x