Stay

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Couldn’t have found a quote that’s more apt than the above to summarise what I’ve been dealing with for the past few days. Kind of want to gather the courage and do something about it, and yet at the same time, I’m wondering if it’s selfish on my end.

Thought I’d be okay with it again this time, but turns out it just hits back a lot worse than it did before – and I guess this also means something. For it has reached the point where it’s affecting my daily living, my work, and everything else. And I catch my thoughts drifting to it every now and then … how do I draw the line?

Feeling very apologetic to the two friends (y’all know who you are) who constantly & tirelessly entertain my episodes again & again, and even just now when I just couldn’t function at work anymore and had to rant it out before I completely broke down. I know y’all mean well for me, and I really appreciate it really. But sometimes, more often than not, the right thing to do isn’t the easiest of all options.

Should I just remain silent & let things continue to remain status quo, or should I do something and risk causing irreversible damage?

Maybe all I need is that bout of courage. And yet maybe, somewhere deep in my heart, I’m hoping for that bout to never, ever come.

Shall end this post with a song I discovered just moments ago –

And the truth set us free unchain my heart
And I know after an ending comes a start

Us

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The problem with people like me is that we care too much. We break our hearts into pieces and give them away, until they are all gone. And we try to live with the broken hearts and broken souls we are left with.

We sacrifice our own happiness to make others smile. But in the process we lose ourselves.  We extinguish the sparks in our eyes and the fire in our bellies in order to fuel the dreams of others. We are the people who laugh at the end of every sentence and place a smiley face at the end of every text, to make sure our friends don’t think we are mad when we say “I need to go.” we are the people with loud thoughts and quiet voices, refusing to speak our minds at the fear of hurting another’s feelings.

We are the people who would give our own life to save a stranger.