Midnight colours

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“I look for you everywhere; small gestures made by all kinds of people in the street remind me of you, by their similarity as much as by their differences, but I cannot say what is obsessing me; it obsesses me utterly and leaves no strength to express it.”
– Franz Kafka

Unresolved feelings really do come back to hit you, even if it has been many years since. So the question is – How do I move forward, if the haunts of my past keep coming to tug me backwards?

Staycay with the team was awesome, t’was a great weekend spent with games & drinking. ‘am an absolute sucker for change, and yet things are so dynamic and change is really the only constant. May I have the strength to face the upcoming changes again. Work anxiety seems to be coming back pretty badly again, partially stemming from expectations of self and expectations from others. KTV with the team was … interesting? Have always been someone who focuses on lyrics of songs, and when sad songs become so relatable, it takes all the effort to refocus on the present & not brood over unhappy thoughts/feelings. Still enjoyed myself tremendously though, great company I’ll never trade for any other 🙂

Living and surviving work week by week, day by day. Not sure when’s the next break, but I desperately need it. My conclusion after slightly more than a year of being a social worker: it takes more than just the heart and good clinical skills to survive as a social worker.

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It really is the worst.

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