Hello, 2019.

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One day you’ll make peace with your demons, and the chaos in your heart will settle flat. And maybe for the first time in your life, life will smile right back at you and welcome you home.

It was a pretty surreal feeling to have stepped quietly into 2019. 2018 really did fly past quickly, I still remember about the countdown to 2018 so vividly and voila, it’s already a new year.

2018 was filled with laughter, breakdowns, and many many memories. Went to Ipoh for the first time with two of my dearest colleagues-turned-friends, and had multiple other short trips with ’em old friends.

2018 was also filled with multiple health scares, which were honestly quite frustrating because of how disruptive it was to my work schedule. Thankful to have made it through the year, thankful that despite the multiple health issues in people around me, we have all made it to 2019 together.

2018 consisted of dark, dark moments. Moments where everything seemed so bleak, where hope was all gone, where every little thing was a trigger & a whole lot of frustration. And yet, 2018 balanced things out by allowing me to forge strong connections with so many friends at work, who tided through difficult times together.

2018 marked the year I turned 24, and the end of 2018 also marked the 1 year mark of my time as an inpatient MSW. In the past few days leading to the end of the year, I couldn’t help but to think of my patients whom I’ve journeyed with in the past year. All the lost souls, late patients who never got the chance to make it to the new year. All their hopes, wishes, goals, ceasing upon the moment of their last breath. Thank you for being strong nevertheless, and for everything we shared during the last journey in your lives.

As a teen, I used to marvel at the 20-somethings and how they all seem to have gotten their lives together, and now being 24, it amazes me from time to time about how much responsibilities lie on my shoulder, and yet I still clearly haven’t gotten things all figured out.

Thank you 2018, you’ve been quite a ride. I’m glad it’s over.

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In 2019,

May we all learn to love ourselves a little more; to put our physical & mental health as priority, and understand that it is okay to say “no” sometimes.

To continue to love our lives no matter how difficult it seems; for living is really something that people take too carelessly for granted.

May we all be happy, in 2019.

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