Stay golden

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Sem 2 is starting in 3 days’ time and … I haven’t managed to secure 5 modules yet. So much for always planning ahead, making my timetable nice with 4-day work weeks & what-nots ): Everything doesn’t work out. Sucks to be a freshie, because the amount of points that we have makes it impossible to compete with the seniors ugh, even with showhand and all, our maximum bid is just, PATHETIC. Currently have 4 modules, x fingers that I’ll be able to get the last module on Monday! Or else, it’s time for yet another backup plan (which I don’t have yet since I’ve exhausted about … 4 backups already yup. That’s how screwed I am)

Otherwise, I’m actually pretty excited to get back to studying I have no idea why at all. Hopefully this motivation/perseverance will be able to last through the entire sem, after all an overseas trip is on the line, can’t risk it! So this sem I’ll be a good girl and make sure that I study hard/conscientiously attend lectures AND tutorials hee. I’ll try.

Returning back to the days where I think too much constantly ): And at times like this, I wonder what would have been of us if we weren’t that screwed up in the past. Maybe things could work out, I don’t know. Too late for regrets or anything, but maybe it wasn’t meant to be after all. Some things in life work so weirdly hmm, I’ll accept it as it is (:

Cannot emphasize how important Thought Catalog is to me in my life, reading through all ’em posts there and mentally agreeing/gaining new insights & perspectives about so many things. Life is definitely not, and shouldn’t be, restricted to just studying. Hopefully I’ll find a proper goal to work towards apart from being a full-time undergraduate! So many aspirations, so many dreams, but ultimately what’s stopping me? I don’t exactly know.

Foresee the coming sem to be a really really tedious/tiring one, but with the tentative overseas trip after the sem, with Avril’s concert in Feb, & among everything else, some fangirling as well, hopefully it will tide me through all the tough times! Took an entire sem to get used (more or less) to uni life, and I’m tired of being the cushion for everyone else on the bell curve. This time, I want to do well too, and be a cushion no more.

2014 has been average, but I’m positive that it will get better from now on! Let’s all be optimistic guys, and make the start of sem 2 in uni a good one YEY.

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2013 in words.

“In January I adopted the motto “I am gonna make it through this year even if it kills me” and I would just like to applaud 2013 for trying its damnedest.” 

Time is ticking, Happy New Year’s Eve to everyone! I’ll be lying if I said 2013 has been a good one, because despite all the happy & gratifying moments I’ve experienced, 2013 was generally hell of a year I’ve experienced. Comparing the me in Jan 2013 and the me in Dec 2013, undoubtedly I’ve changed quite a bit. Morphing into someone with changes in terms of personality & perspectives on things like friendship and other things. Sidenote, this is going to be a really general post!

This year I felt a lot

This year I laughed a lot

This year I met new people

This year I left old people

This year I loved a lot

And I cried a lot this year

And I experienced a lot this year

And I changed a lot this year

And that change is the most valuable thing

2013. The year where I first stepped into the (somewhat) real working industry, by working as a temp admin assistant @ MND-BCA. Waking up early to take the train to work was insane, considering how we had to squeeeeze with the working crowd and survive the train ride all the way to Tanjong Pagar oh my gosh. Approximately 1h15min to get to work every morning, then working the typical 8.30am-6pm kind of life. It has been a good exposure, and it made me realize how important it was to find a job in the future that I am truly passionate about, such that I will be willing to wake up early every morning & look forward to going to work LOL. But with all that said, so thankful for PDMD to have taken care of me so well despite being just a temp admin there (: And for always chatting with me & checking to see if I was too bored at work. It’s the people who make such things much more enjoyable, and my first working experience for approx 5 months or so, ended on a really good note (:

After working the standard office life, I have gotten myself another responsibility. Currently a tuition teacher, teaching math & chinese hee (: It’s a huuuge responsibility imo, these kids have pinned their hopes on me to help them improve in time for PSLE in 2014. Thankful to have seen how my tutee has progressed so much and the big improvements in their results, it makes me feel so heartened, and a reassurance that hey, I’m actually really able to help them! Aiming for nothing but an A* for both math & chinese in PSLE, because I have that much faith in my tutee. Teaching is really such a joy (‘:

2013 is a defining year. It defined who, or rather it has subtly guided me into making decision of my future path – by finalizing my uni/major choice. I remember how unsure/skeptical I was of what I want to apply for upon receiving my A’s results on 1 March 2013. I’m going to say for sure, now, that I know I haven’t chosen the wrong major (: I’m contented to be in NUS FASS, albeit it wasn’t my initial choice (or rather I was torn between this & another choice that … doesn’t serve any significance anymore). With this, I remember the few months where I was literally freaking out over potential offer/call for intv for my other choice, and all the friends who have been there to encourage me with all that insane worrying going on. Maybe I’m not destined for that path, yeah sometimes thinking back I really wonder why I didn’t get any news since the cut off grade was waaaaaaaay lower than the cut off grade for NUS FASS hmm. But it’s fine (: Because being in NUS, being in FASS, has gained me exposure to a whole new level of excitement and experience.

With that said, my first semester as a university student has officially ended! It started off really well, with arts oweek 2013, ConspirARTSy’13! Happy to belong to A4 Aiumph, possibly one of the best OGs I’ll ever be in. Memorable (in a good way) start, happy to have made new friends, considering how socially awkward I am with strangers. Results aren’t up to expectations, so it’s a promise to myself to work harder from next sem onwards. For one, I’ll need to make sure that I diligently attend all lectures & tutorials (and actually pay attention, or at least attempt to). Kind of looking forward to school starting, but at the same time I still wanna enjoy my holidays, ah wellllllll.

Among all these new experiences/life-changing decisions in my life, I am thankful that old friendships are still going on strong! Don’t want to mention names here, but those who matter so much to me will know/feel it (: And perhaps receive a personalized message when the clock strikes midnight tonight hee. Haven’t decided if I’ll be hardworking enough to do that buuuuut, I’ll try my best. Really thankful for people who keep me sane through tough times, friends who make me feel the love & feel so touched, friends who are there for me because they are willing to. There’s a saying where friendships that last 7 years will last for a lifetime. But no, I don’t believe in that. Because I have friendships that haven’t lasted for 7 years but I am more than sure that they would be friendships for a lifetime (‘: So thank you to all these friends out there!

Last but not least, this marks the first year (and a few days) where I have been an Inspirit! Never in my life would I have imagined being whirled into this whole kpop saga, but I’m not regretting anything. I’m thankful to be an Inspirit, for Infinite! It’s amazing how I’ve been exposed to so many kpop groups by my sis for the past few years and none caught my eyes/heart, and it’s even more amazing for how I actually became an Inspirit, just from one reality programme that I watched for an hour because the sis was watching. Maybe this is really Destiny (‘: And thank you to my dearest Inspirit family for fuelling my fangirl heart + having someone to spazz with all the time! Apart from being an Inspirit, I’m a part time Babyz. So as of 2013 I am glad to have been to the concert of both my bias groups (with Infinite as the main of course). 8 Aug 2013 for BAP concert, and 5 Oct 2013 for Infinite concert. I’ve seen my two bias groups in real life how fortunate *o*

But being sensible, I know that fangirling has taken up a lot of my time and effort. From now on, studies will be of priority! I’m not saying that I’ll stop being a fangirl because I know that is technically impossible, but I’ll dedicate more time studying, and making sure that I don’t compromise anything just because of kpop, because it really isn’t worth it as much as it has brought me a lot of fun & happiness in my life this year. I’ll learn to be more sensible from now on, always prioritise (:

In 2013, I had experienced a fair share of tears laughter happiness sadness, all emotions possible. Didn’t think that I would have survived it but hey looking back, I did it. Everyone did it. If you’re reading this, you did it as well, so give yourself a pat on the back. One of my new life motto is to always be optimistic. If you can’t change things, try looking at them from a different perspective, make yourself happier (: Bad or good, life still goes on. Used to post new year resolutions on my blog but as I grow older, these things get more personal so nope, no more posting ’em here.

In 2014, I hope that everyone around me will be happier. Happy with their grades, happy with their relationships, happy with their lives. Sincerely hoping that I’ll make 2014 a good one, and a meaningful one. No more procrastination, no more lack of priorities, no more regrets. I’m going to plant cherry tomatoes on 1 Jan ’14, the most hilarious yet meaningful birthday present I’ve got this year from my two best FASS seniors/friends/inspirits! (Maybe I’ll post about all the birthday surprises etc that I’ve gotten some time soon) Can’t wait to plant my cherry tomatoes, hopefully they will grow well! Life will get better eventually, it always will. Cherry tomatoes, may we both grow well together & experience the upcoming happy days in 2014!

New year, new book, new resolutions, may it be a good year ahead! (: This will be the last post of 2013! May endlessparadigm see happier posts in the new year ahead. Goodbye 2013, thank you for being in my life, but it’s time for you to go. Because 2014 is coming in 10 hours’ time.

2014, bring it on. I’m ready for you.