The Great Escape

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Sometimes the best thing you can do is take a step back and give yourself a chance to breathe.

Feeling guilty for neglecting endlessparadigm but school has been really tiring/busy, hence the lack of updates. Taking the time now to review on the first few weeks since 2015 has started! Finally managing to catch a breather despite the growing pile of backlog that I’ve accumulated in the mere 4 weeks of school.

Officially began Y2S2 as a Psychology major, and ‘am reading quite a few interesting modules this semester (though they drive me crazy at times). Hoping for the semester to be a fulfilling one in terms of academics! Timetable is relatively okay, at least I’m satisfied with it apart from Tuesdays on even weeks which are simply h e l l. But I’ll get through it, the pains & sacrifices for better days in the week is ultimately worth it.

Sis turned 21 a few days ago on 1 Feb, happy (belated) 21st sis! ♥♥♥ It has been a good 21 years (and counting) being sisters, and somehow we still continue to amaze people around us about how we are born in the same year yet aren’t twins haha. Thankful for the sis to be there through different phases of my life, be it my lowest or highest moments. Definitely looking forward to more sister-times & late night chats & (currently) spazzing over the Song triplets together these days :’)

Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest steps of your life. Tip toe if you must – but take the step.

Earlier in January I made the decision to apply for Proj C.A.N. XII OC, in hopes of enriching my volunteering journey in NUS CSC by extending it beyond RVPs – and officially venturing into SPs as well. Thankful for the chance to be the sectreas, and ‘am pretty excited to meet the OC during our first meeting, hoping that socially awkward me will be able to survive it though haha. At least I’ll be camping behind my laptop furiously typing minutes so it’ll help alleviate some awkwardness in me (hopefully)!

During my interview, I got asked the primary question that all volunteers will probably come across at least once in their lives:

What does volunteerism mean to you?

Honestly felt that my answer during the interview wasn’t able to perfectly encapsulate the thoughts that I have pertaining to this question because of how nervous I was haha. Volunteerism is something that should come from your heart, and not for the sake of superficiality – for it will not only be detrimental to yourself, but your beneficiaries as well. Volunteerism is seen when you contribute your time & effort in various ways, even if it’s just spending time with your beneficiaries, without expecting any personal returns or gains, apart from satisfaction and happiness within. Volunteerism means to befriend your beneficiaries, getting to know them for who they really are, being able to see past the possible disadvantages they may have in their lives. Nobody is perfect, we might just  be slightly more privileged than others out in society, hence affording to render our services to alleviate their lives, be it in terms of physical items or simply inculcating values etc. Volunteerism shouldn’t be seen as something that’s noble or whatsoever, it shouldn’t be something that you choose to do just because you have some time to spare. Volunteerism should be nothing but sincerity, it should be something innate, where you don’t feel compelled or pressurized to do whatever you do. Because volunteering means as much to me as the importance of people understanding the spirit of volunteerism. So this, is what volunteerism means to me :’)

Visited Lola’s Cafe yesterday for the first time with A & Y! Haven’t had much time to indulge in cafe hopping, so I was really glad for the much needed midweek break that really served its purpose to recharge me (: Explored Sengkang area, and despite it being my playground when I was waaaay younger, I had little recollection of the area. As usual, spazzed like crazy girls at the void deck after collecting our Infinite H Fly Again albums with my fellow Inspirit hee. Can’t believe that it has been a good 2 years since I first did the whole “spazz at void deck while opening our albums/posters” things for Infinite H’s debut album :’) Congratulations to Infinite H for securing their first win as a subunit, may there be many more of such happy moments to come in the near future!

Thank you for all the belated presents for my 20th back in December last year, thoughtful well wishes/messages really mean a lot to me! And I realised that I’ve received 5 soft toy related presents … I guess that says something about how I should really try to grow up but whoooops I love them all haha they bring me comfort :’) Defo need to blog about this original quote from one of my best friends (you know who you are) in my birthday letter, just because you know how much of a sucker I am for quotes! So for remembrance’s sake:

Friends are like the weather, be it rain or shine, they would always be there for you.

I guess it’s time to head back to studying while waiting for my next lesson … can’t wait for lessons to end today, because it will yet again signify the end of the academic week! Thank goodness for free day Fridays, it makes my weekend seem so long (especially since my lecture on Monday starts at 6pm only) HAHA. Time to pick up the pace, determined to make things the best yet.

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In life we do things. Some we wish we had never done. Some we wish we could replay a million times in our heads. But they all make us who we are. And in the end they shape every detail about us. If we were to reverse any of them we wouldn’t be the person we are. So just live, make mistakes, have wonderful memories. But never ever second guess who you are, where you have been, and most importantly where it is you’re going.

Till the next time, I’ll try to be more diligent in updating hee till then x

P.S. So excited for Avril Lavigne to release her Give You What You Like MV on 21 Feb, as well as dropping her new single Fly!!

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Runaway

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Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.

So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don’t,

and believe that everything happens for a reason.

If you get a chance, take it.

If it changes your life, let it. 

Nobody said that it’d be easy, 

They just promised it’d be worth it.

Spent my time just now listening to all of Avril’s songs – both from old & present. Seriously can’t wait for her 6th album to be released (hopefully next year), because her songs are so therapeutic & just mean so much to me. No matter what other singers/artistes there are out there, Avril Lavigne’s position in my heart is irreplaceable :”) Proud to be a Little Black Star since primary school, wouldn’t trade spending my childhood listening to her songs for any other.

It’s quite a coincidence how the topic of trust pops out randomly again these days … so interesting listening to the different perspectives/advice from people I confide in. Don’t know why I did that in the first place but I’m glad I did. Everyone needs a little breather some time, so I’m genuinely thankful for the chances/platforms where I got to rant. But it doesn’t change the fact that it makes me feel guilty/burdenful towards those I talk to. 

Headed down to IMH yesterday morning for their volunteer orientation programme, it was so insightful & reaffirms my passions for the field of psychology & volunteering. As cliche as it sounds, it’s really about helping the people you can help to the best of your abilities, & making a difference. I’m positive with each volunteering experience comes great insights, hopefully being able to shape myself into becoming a better person! May it be a wonderful & meaningful journey of volunteering ahead.

Went back to hwach with the clique for MAF yesterday :’) Really miss hanging out daily at the CT bench, walking around or just chilling at random places & doing stupid stuff during break times. I miss randomly doodling on A’s paper etc (haha best tablemate ever really), or playing navigation with hierarchy tier mate. JC may or may not have been the best time of my life, but it definitely became better with the presence of my awesome clique. Without them, I think I wouldn’t be where I am today, really.

I kind of miss the tradition of celebrating MAF actually … I remember how we used to head to playgrounds with lanterns (either the electronic ones or the candle-lit ones), with a box of candles & just lighting them up to form shapes on the ground. If growing up means losing all these precious moments & little joys in life, then I’d rather time rewind & not move forward ahead.

I’m thankful for certain friendships in my life. Old or new, they all mean a lot to me, more than words can ever express, so thank you for the constants in my life. I guess the number of years attached to a friendship just reaffirms it, but even if it’s new friendships made recently, who says it can’t last for a lifetime? :’)

So much to do yet so little time, feeling so stressed out I’m not even kidding … but I’ll have faith. This is the last day of August, so till the next time we meet again in September x

Remember when

Image

 

Hopefully this is really true, that good things are going to happen (& hopefully soon!) Kind of feel like my life is lacking some excitement/ meaning these days … it’s back to the mundane studying-sleeping lifestyle again hmm. Uni life is really taking a toll on my sanity these days, I’m so sorry to all my friends who have been receiving crazy snapchats from me/ nonsensical whatsapp messages & what-nots HAHA. But it’s really amusing/funny to see friends go crazy with me, especially when it’s always a snapchat party with all the crazy ones like “spying on ____”, there were at least 30 snaps exchanged just purely on the random stuff we spy on. Always welcome more snapchat buddies because seriously, I head there everytime I’m bored (that’s pretty often imo) hee.

‘ve been wanting to blog about last fri but evidently never gotten down to doing so … so here’s it! Had such a pleasant surprise last fri in school. Adelyn sc-ed me showing me she was at the Deck, so I was really happy already because it’s so rare to see her these days since I’m in NUS but she isn’t. Made my way to deck while calling her to get her exact location, and she told me there were friends there whom I know too. And when I arrived … I freaking saw Susi Rachael Vivian there as well, I swear I could burst into tears at that point in time. And hence it turned into an unplanned 111’07/211’08 gathering, I miss the carefree days in NY so damn much. Especially Adelyn & Susi, it’s sad how we don’t get to meet up so often now because we are all in different unis, leading different lives & bounded by diff schedules etc ): The two closest friends I’ve gotten since sec 1, it has been long, but we grow, we all grow up together :’) Reminisced & caught up with each other it was pure bliss really. Talking back to the days where we were so young innocent carefree & what-not, life has really changes a lotttt since those secondary school days. This bunch of lovelies made my NYGH life start on such a good note! On a random note, I conclude that Adelyn is seriously the coolest friend I have due to various reasons HAHA. 

So last fri ended on a good note because of them, and tomorrow will be an awesome end to the week as well, can’t wait for lessons to end so I get to meet people who matter so damn much to me. And not forgetting upcoming concert to support my hierarchy babe, so excited already *o*

I guess I should add that … I’ve survived 2/3 midterms for this sem already *pops confetti* Biopsych was over on tues + psych stats I was over on wed! Only left with social psych midterms which are after recess week and … purely MCQ. Thankful that recess week won’t be as tiring as last sem’s, but of course it’s still going to be full of studying & proj work. Not that I’m complaining, I feel that I’ve gotten it easier than some others who have to lug through notes after notes during the upcoming recess week. Excited to study for social psych too, because it’s an interesting aspect of psychology that I might consider dwelling into. Haven’t exactly decided much yet for certain, let’s just see how things go along the way.

It’s not enough, it’s not enough to get me

What is it I want

It’s not enough, it’s not enough to get me

Everything I need

And I wish, I wish it was

I think it’s time

To give this up

May everyone around me get happier x

From, To

I know the title of my post seems really weird/doesn’t make any sense. But it’s something that I saw on Tumblr that I really want to share because it was just like … whoa it made me so damn speechless when I saw it. Bittersweet sad post in just a few mere sentences.

Two months into our relationship you once asked me how much I loved you and I just said “From here”.

You didn’t get it and you got mad and you thought I was just playing around.

 

Breaking up after almost 2 years being together, I sent you a message 6 months later saying “To here.”

 

You still didn’t get it.

)’: It’s such a bitter feeling.

And this is basically what I’ve been doing these few days – Burying my head in books after books, notes after notes, mugging for finals. Honestly don’t except myself to get a good CAP this sem, I’m just hoping for decent grades enough to get me by. And I’ll repent & be a good girl from next sem onwards I promise! Since I somehow earned a reputation of constantly ponning lectures this sem … but some lectures are really a waste of time AND can be self-studied so I don’t see the point in being physically present, especially since there’s webcast as well. Not to mention the long travelling time from home to school, and then back home, that’s so much precious time wasted. Hence, ponning lectures is justifiable (who am I kidding). Next sem, I’ll be a good girl.

Remember my previous post about Avril Lavigne & how I wish that she’d come to SG for a concert? The morning after I wrote that post – my dream came TRUE. 5 Nov 2013, I woke up at approx 10am learning that Avril Lavigne is having her concert 15 Feb 2014 *o* And that the tickets have started selling since 9am (!!) So yes … I finally got my hands on 2 Cat-1 tickets, imagine the pure bliss & excitement that I experienced that morning (‘: 5 Nov 2013 was supposed to be a nostalgic day since it was the 1-month mark since then. But I’m glad this sudden surprise of Avril’s concert tided me through that entire day I was literally all smiles & what-not (:

Avril Lavigne Live in Singapore 2014 – Rawesome Tour

How good does that sound ^^ My tickets arrived in the mail a couple of days ago, keeping them safe because I’ll just kill myself if I lose them. So damn glad for a dream-come-true, just imagine seeing Avril Lavigne in real life, and most importantly getting to listen to her sing live omg I can’t contain my excitement *o* 

Oh yes and JIN made her debut on 8 Nov 2013, her debut song Gone is currently on replay (click on the title to watch the MV!) It’s so nice, the MV was so touching, the ending was so bittersweet :’) Just some background info for those who aren’t familiar, JIN debut as a solo artist for now, but she will officially debut & promote as a member of Woollim’s Girl Group early next year, alongside Baby Soul, Ji Ae, and a few other girls. Both Baby Soul & Ji Ae have made their solo debut, and JIN is the last girl from Woollim’s Girl Group to get to have a solo debut! JIN’s vocals are soooo good (just like Baby Soul) and a plus point is that JIN is so pretty omg. 

See what I mean? Really looking forward to Woollim’s Girl Group debut early next year (coupled with INFINITE’s comeback after their World Tour ends early next year as well). Have some reservations about Woolim’s Girl Group because of certain reasons but … I’ll hold my comments till their debut (: Really hope they won’t disappoint – after all Woolliment doesn’t disappoint, their artistes are awesome this way hee. Love the (translated) lyrics for Gone as well, I’m a sucker for bittersweet songs/lyrics.

In the place where we were together

In those moments where we could have walked together

I’m holding onto myself alone

In this place, even our future, my wishes have stopped

I’m standing here and you are gone

 

I’m sorry for the incoherent post but I’m just really typing whatever that comes to my mind hee.

Snapchat is awesome. Mega love my regular Snapchat buddies who never fail to make my day (several times) with ’em insane Snapchats (‘: Coincidentally, these are the people who keep me going every single day. Those whom I trust in my life, those whom I rely on so so so much for everything & anything. Play hard, work hard. It’ll ultimately be worth it, eventually.

Last thing before I end my post & head back to conquering Linear alg (wish me luck Lab Quiz in a few days ugh matlab … sucks). CLB is allowing overnight study, basically it’s open 24/7, should I should I? I’m the kind who can’t concentrate at home I end up doing useless stuff/ things not related to academics like updating endlessparadigm *coughs*. And studying in central library AND studying at night really makes me waaay more productive. Said this many times before, I’m not a morning/daytime person. My productivity rate shoots up at night as long as I get over the sleepy phase! Considering overnight study, anyone interested to join me?

Finals start in 16 days, PRESS ON. And it’s time to study go go jiayou don’t give up not now not ever (:

x

Hello Heartache

 

Avril Lavigne’s self-titled 5th studio album is finally out (!!!) Okay it was supposed to be officially released on 5 Nov, but it was pre-released in Australia/Germany on 1 Nov, and the album is currently on replay throughout the day.

All the songs are awesome, and I’m not even kidding. Apart from Here’s To Never Growing Up & Rock N Roll which were pre-released as singles earlier this year, my favorite songs from this album are Hello Heartache, Hush Hush, 17, and Give You What You Like. If I really had to list I’d end up listing all the songs whoooops. Linked the songs to youtube, click on the song titles mentioned above to listen to them (: In fact, there are 14 songs in total, and all are unique & special in their own ways. Definitely worth the time, do check the songs out!

Track Listing:

1. Rock N Roll
2. Here’s To Never Growing Up
3. 17
4. Bitchin’ Summer
5. Let Me Go (ft. Chad Kroeger)
6. Give You What You Like
7. Bad Girl (ft. Marilyn Manson)
8. Hello Kitty
9. You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet
10. Sippin’ On Sunshine
11. Hello Heartache
12. Falling Fast
13. Hush Hush
14. How You Remind Me

I love how Avril Lavigne’s involved in producing every single song – self-written lyrics & what-not. It makes her songs so easy to relate to, how sincere she sounds when she sings, how much emotions are poured out into each and every song. It has been slightly more than 2.5 years since her previous album Goodbye Lullaby, but it was more than worth it, to be waiting for her 5th studio album. After all, there’s a reason why I’ve practically grown up dedicating my time listening to Avril’s songs since the primary school days, and that says a lot. She’s not my all-time favorite artiste for nothing (‘: 

Goodbye my friend

Hello heartache

It’s not the end

It’s not the same

Wish it didn’t have to be this way but

You and I will spin the world to make love

Goodbye my friend

Hello Heartache

 

– Avril Lavigne (Hello Heartache)

From her first album Let Go (2002), to Under My Skin (2004), then The Best Damn Thing (2007), followed by Goodbye Lullaby (2011), and finally Avril Lavigne (2013), none of the albums disappointed in any way. Many people were skeptical when The Best Damn Thing came out since she was venturing to a different style, but it didn’t matter at all. The songs turned out so well, and it was still Avril’s style to me. Goodbye Lullaby and Avril Lavigne showed shadows of her original punk princess style – with more slow ballads (coupled with mega meaningful lyrics).

Hey, those days are long gone

And when I hear this song it takes me back

We were at the top of the world

Back when I was your girl

We were living so wild and free

Acting stupid for fun

All we needed was love

That’s the way it’s supposed to be

 

– 17 (Avril Lavigne)

Avril’s starting on her Rawesome Tour in January 2014, the tour stops announced so far are Japan, Thailand, Hong Kong and Indonesia. Guilty that I’ve been her fan since forever and yet haven’t gone for any of her concerts. Went to check, she came to Singapore for all her previous tours – Try To Shut Me Up Tour (2003), Bonez Tour (2005) and The Best Damn Tour (2011). I deeply regret not going for The Best Damn Tour in 2011 … but all that’s left is regret. Hence, I’ve decided that should she come to Singapore for her Rawesome Tour, I will attend it no matter what (should circumstances allow to the best of my ability)! I wouldn’t want to have yet another regret in my life, knowing that this was a choice I could have controlled. Attending at least one Avril Lavigne concert is one of the top item in my bucket list (:

I’m breaking free from these memories

Gotta let it go, just let it go

I’ve said goodbye

Set it all on fire

Gotta let it go, just let it go

 

– Let Me Go (Avril Lavigne ft. Chad Kroeger)

On a sidenote, I think Avril Lavigne is super pretty her features are so distinct & her attitude is just so … unique. And special. And awesome. She’s so talented too, composing songs, powerful vocals, Abbey Dawn (fashion line), and her own perfume fragrance series (: 

Avril Lavigne 2013 Photoshoot HD Wallpaper

I remember playing her songs on the piano, especially Innocence (‘: My all-time favorite song. Can’t wait for holidays to come, time to start sourcing for ’em piano scores again!

With all that said, I’m proud to be a Little Black Star.