2014

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Happy NYE everyone! This post will be the first since I turned 20. And this post will be the last of 2014. Taking some time to type & reflect on the year, guess it’s sort of a review post of how life has been in 2014 🙂 Disclaimer: It’s really long & boring, but I choose to document all of it down for myself, as a keepsake memory. It has been a tough yet interesting journey thus far, and I’m thankful that it’s going to be over soon, for 2015 will definitely be filled with even more fun, excitement and challenges that I (hope I can and) will conquer 🙂

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Life as a psychology undergraduate in NUS

2014 marks the final sem of being a year 1, and proceeding on as a year 2 in uni. School hasn’t been easy on me, or perhaps I’m just a student inferior to others. But I truly enjoy what I study, and it’s nice to see the fruits of my hard labor in the results received recently – albeit not fantastic or impressive, but an improvement is all it takes to convince myself that it’s worth it. In 2014, I took modules that interest me the most (social + abnormal psychology). And this affirmed my dream of reading psychology :’)

Social psych taught me social skills & know-hows in daily interactions, it made me (slightly) more sensitive to people’s behaviors. I guess this is why people assume that psychologists can read minds, though it’s really more of just being more observant in certain things that others tend to neglect. Whatever it is, I still have a looong way to go 🙂

Abnormal psychology taught me the art of empathy, yet at the same time to be less judgmental. It’s really important that we do not label people with disorders as “the person with depression” or whatsoever, but to accept & view them as who they are, for they are only humans who are less fortunate than others to be diagnosed with psychological disorders. And I finally got the chance to visit IMH through my course of study, which makes me really grateful 🙂 It has provided me with fresh insights & what-nots, definitely will continue to volunteer @ IMH if I have the chance!

Overall, despite the hectic schedules as an undergraduate, where I experienced my first double 8am lectures in uni (which I will avoid to the best of my abilities from now on), it has been a fulfilling year in terms of studies 🙂

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Life as a volunteer in CSC

2014 marks the year where I officially involved myself in volunteering once again, after a one-year hiatus in 2013. The first major event was the Adventure Camp held in June. Planning for the camp while rendering my services as the Secretary in the committee taught me loads of things, especially since this is the first time I’ve planned for a camp that’s held in Pulau Ubin. A foreign location naturally brings about more difficulties & uncertainties, but the camp made me revisit Guiding skills that I’ve missed, which makes me really happy because it brought back fond memories of Guiding with the pitching of tents & firelighting for outdoor cooking 🙂

Then came the biggest decision I’ve made in 2014 – accepting the role of Vice Chairperson of Youth Rangers. It was a really tough choice & I was in a constant debate between acceptance & rejection of the role, for I wasn’t sure if I could handle the responsibilities that came with the title. After consulting & considering the various advice from friends, I decided to give it a try. I don’t regret the choice, albeit knowing that perhaps there might be someone out there who has better capabilities for this role. Because this choice has ultimately shaped & steered my volunteering journey to a different one – one that is more meaningful than all the volunteering experiences I’ve ever had in my life.

Being the VC has its pros and cons. For one, I’m really glad to have been given this opportunity, & it has led me to meet an awesome RVP Team AY14/15, especially the other Children/Youth sector chairpersons 🙂 It has also allowed me to be more involved in the behind-the-scenes of volunteering, ranging from planning of events to attending countless meetings & gaining new insights from other fellow chairpersons. I can’t emphasize how much importance volunteering takes in my heart, and it’s so so important to me that people volunteer because they have the genuine passion & heart to do so. It’s obvious when their reasons for volunteering are otherwise, but sometimes I choose not to say anything because well, it’s their choice, and as long as they don’t jeopardize anything, I guess I’m not in the position to judge or whatsoever.

I foresee changes in the future, in YR, and I’m hoping for the changes to be a good one. Since I officially accepted my certificate of appointment on 4 Sept 2014, I promise to make the best out of this AY, as the VC of YR. May things be smooth sailing from now on, and I’m confident to say that I’m no longer who I was in the past. The volunteering experience thus far has shaped me greatly and I’m thankful for that.

It’s really so heartwarming to see the youths acknowledging & being happy because of our presence & commitments, the fun & enjoyment that they display during sessions are what drives me to continue pushing on even if it’s a tough time ahead. Because as long as we have impacted & made a difference in contributing to the lives of our youths, I know that all the hard work is more than worth it 🙂

Apart from YR, I’ve semi-involved myself as a volunteer in GAW during the wish adoption + party phases 🙂 I had the opportunity to learn basic Braille during a workshop @ iC2 Prephouse, it was a really eye-opening experience! Attended 2 GAW Parties (iC2 Prephouse + BSS), and I’ve learnt a lot from both parties. Interacting with children of different backgrounds, with children who have slight disabilities in terms of sight, it really made me feel much more humble while seeing the amount they had to offer despite all the setbacks going on in their lives.

One semester left as a member of YR Comm, & I’m going to make sure things get better, and that it’s the best yet. Looking forward to the continuation of rendering my services in CSC, as volunteering continues to play a significant role in my journey to self-discovery & fulfillment! 🙂

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Life as a tourist in Korea

This is definitely one of the highlights of 2014. My first independent 15-day holiday trip overseas with friends! Thank you to the best travelling buddies I could ever ask for, I really love how our travelling styles & preferences etc all complement each other so well, and that the trip concluded so memorably without any arguments or whatsoever. I had the best time of my life in Korea, and am already looking forward to future trips together with this awesome bunch! In these 15 days, I’ve been to Jeju + Seoul, and it was a really interesting experience.

Hobo-ed at Incheon Airport overnight for the first time in my life, and it was such a historical moment where we coincidentally managed to meet various k-idols (including our bias group INFINITE!!!!) while hobo-ing overnight. What a pleasant surprise it was, I’ll never forget how it felt omg :’) Aaaand I met my bias Dongwoo’s parents by visiting their family restaurant! Thank you my dearest friends for scheduling that into our triip & not giving up despite getting lost for a while in an attempt to find the restaurant (there was even a slight drizzle)! It was simply … magical HAHA. Conversing with Dongwoo’s dad, and him being so enthusiastic about taking a picture with us that he even made sure that Dongwoo’s poster will be captured in the picture! And Dongwoo’s mom personally feeding us (although the spicy octopus really made me have legit tears), such awesome fan service that his parents gave to fans (especially since they knew we were not local fans but international fans!) I’ll definitely head back to their family restaurant the next time I go to Korea, and sincerely appreciate the warm hospitality that they served us with!

From randomly following this rookie group at Myeongdong whom we initially didn’t know of (and subsequently found out they were B.I.G.), to all the crazy shopping & fun times in Jeju/Seoul, thank you to Yumin, Sheryin & Amanda for the memorable Korea trip 🙂 Here’s to more #guesswhatadventures to come in the future!

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Life as a music fanatic

In 2014, I attended 2 concerts! Avril Lavigne Live in Singapore 2014 on 15 Feb, and The Red Tour by Taylor Swift on 12 June.

After being a Black Star since primary school days, I finally got to enjoy Avril Lavigne’s concert live for the first time ever! Made sure to get the best tickets with the best view, and saying that Avril is awesome irl is a major understatement omg. Can’t wait for her next album to be out, since it has been almost 2 years since she released her fifth self-titled studio album. Her sincerity & confidence in her performance really deserves the utmost admiration from all her black stars indeed, may her songs continue to serve as my therapy in the future! Taylor Swift was incredible live as well, and her stage performances & entertainment level is insane. Thankful to have gotten the chance to attend both concerts this year 🙂

I’m hoping for Lana Del Rey to come for a tour in Singapore in the future! Her album Ultraviolence released earlier this year has been on replay for the longest time ever, there’s just something about the songs by Lana Del Rey that is so addictive.

Infinite released 2 albums this year, Season 2 + Season 2 Repackage, and both albums are nicely sitting on my shelf hee. Infinite songs are definitely my favorite in Kpop, and Last Romeo + Back (both of their title tracks this year) literally blew my mind away. I really love how much sincerity they put in each of their performances on stage, where they actually sing live despite their dance being really tough & energy draining. Definitely going to continue supporting Infinite by being their loyal Inspirit! It has been said that Infinite H will be having a comeback in January, Infinite in February, and Sunggyu with his second solo album some time next year. Hence, I foresee 2015 being an awesome year for Infinite already, may all their group/unit/solo comebacks be successful! 🙂

Amidst all the songs from specific singers, I’m glad to have stumbled upon loads of other random English songs with lyrics that resonate deeply within me, that I can relate to, and that are applicable for different moods etc.

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Life as who I am

In 2014, I’ve learnt a lot and gained loads of valuable experience, to continue shaping my future for who I’m meant to be. One recurring topic is undoubtedly “friends”, as I realized how people seem to loosely classify (& I used to be guilty of that as well) acquaintances as friends. This year, I’ve realized who my true friends are, who are the friends meant to stick around, and who aren’t the sincere ones. This year, I had the chance of several friendships resurfacing, from years ago. And I’m really glad it happened, because it does feel good & reassuring to be able to reminisce & share freely about things, to people who were once in my life (and have re-entered thankfully).

Lost friendships might be hard to revive, but for what’s it worth, the effort put in by both parties will definitely keep it going. I really like how it isn’t awkward at all despite losing contact for years 🙂 I guess this goes to show the genuine core of what friendship should entail 🙂

And I’m more than grateful to those whom I’ve been talking on a regular/daily basis. No need for mentions, you guys know who you are. Thank you for tolerating all the nonsense & enduring all my rants/frustrations etc. It hasn’t been easy, I’m sure of that, but thanks for sticking around :’) It means so much to me. Old is gold indeed, I wouldn’t trade you guys for any other, not now not ever.

Living life as a 19 y-o and turning 20 so so recently, I’ve grown to notice the amount of independence needed in my life. Things aren’t the same as what they were when I was young, safe in my comfort zone & protected from all ’em unpleasant happenings. But this is a learning & growing process. As we make mistakes, we learn from them, we rebound, and get back up stronger than before.

This year continued to touch me with endearing birthday wishes/messages, all of which I read well & will hold the words close to my heart :’) Thank you for all the birthday wishes/dedications, spending time to meet me & what-nots, planning surprises, and all the handwritten birthday letters! For I’m still old-fashioned when it comes to this, but handwritten letters really hold so much significance than any other. So thank you to everyone and yes, I’m finally 20! 🙂

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May 2015 be a better year for everyone, with less tragedies happening & more happiness spread throughout. Going to make a 2015 new year resolution since I’m turning 21 next year, but probably not going to post it up since it’s more private haha. First two weeks of 2015 really packed & hence ensuring that the beginning of 2015 will be a blast, may it be a meaningful & insightful year ahead, where everyone gets what they wish/aim for :’) Put behind whatever unhappiness or grudges incurred in 2014, and welcome 2015 with a fresh start, an open mind, and a hopeful heart!

With this, I conclude my final post on endlessparadigm in 2014. Till the next time we meet, in 2015 x

20152015, bring it on. I’m ready.

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Infinite 4th

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As the clock strikes midnight on 9 June 2014, twitter has been spammed/flooded with tweets pertaining to this special day. As the hashtag trends suggest, #INFINITE4th or #4YearsWithInfinite, today marks the day where it has been exactly 4 years since Infinite officially debuted as a boy group under Woolliment.

Browsing through all the tweets, amidst the really hilarious/epic ones, many Inspirits took the chance to reminisce about Infinite’s journey throughout this 4 years. With their 4th anniversary comes many memories resurfaced, ranging from the pranks pulled during Sesame Player (really miss those days), to their first win with Be Mine on 1 Sept 2011, & to the closely-knit relationship between these 7 boys who come together as Infinite.

Albeit not being an Inspirit right from the start since their debut on 9 June 2010, I’m more than certain I’ll stay as an Inspirit till the end. No scratch that, there won’t be an end, it’ll be forever :’)

Once you become an Inspirit, you will be Inspirit forever. We will also be Infinite forever! – Dongwoo

Never has this quote been more apt. In the recent months, there have been many … issues popping up. Setbacks, disappointments & what-nots. But it’s the true Inspirits who will be sticking with them forever till the end of time, isn’t it? 2014 hasn’t exactly been very smooth with Last Romeo promotions having mixed reviews, & how Inspirits are all dejected by the mysterious case of lacking in SNS points despite trending in so many countries hmm.

It’s really heartwarming to see how Inspirits are all united as one, coming together for the (almost) daily tweet parties just to get #인피니트 trending :’) Personally feel that Inspirits are more laid back & chill as compared to other fandoms I’ve witnessed, so the effort put in for LR promotions this time really touched me a lot. We failed, Sunggyu apologised to say it wasn’t Inspirits but rather Infinite who was lacking. We cry. We learn. We get back up on our feet, we try even harder than before. If we fail a million times, we get back up a million and one times. Because you know what? As chill as we may seem, Inspirits do not know how to give up. Because we know deep down in our hearts that despite Infinite constantly saying winning isn’t of priority, we know they deserve the recognition, the title of champions, the physical award that crowns them as winners, because they truly deserve it.

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Their sincerity on every single stage performance, singing live & practising for so many hours a day, just to make sure they deliver nothing but perfection. 4 years since debut, and still so humble, constantly reminding themselves of their rookie mindsets, to not get too confident or proud, to always cherish & be sincere in what they do. How rare is it for k-idols to be hand in hand, delivering 90 degree bows to thank their fans, to say “thank you” for possibly a million times during the encore after a music show win, to put the blame on themselves for lacking & hoping to cheer Inspirits up, when we were the ones who were lacking instead.

Our name, Infinite, means “limitless”. We never put a restriction on our possibilities, and we will always improve. – Sunggyu

Still find it amazing  how after all these years, Infinite is the first k-idol group to attract my attention, and make me fall head over heels for them. 7 different charms, 7 different personalities, fitting together perfectly like puzzle pieces, this is what Infinite is :’) I’ve only been an Inspirit for 1.5 years (& counting), comparing to all my other Inspirit friends, it’s not as long. But thank you Infinite for gifting me with an Inspirit family, because such friendships are difficult to come by. Infinite serving as a common topic/bond between Inspirits, laughter//tears//smiles//going crazy//spazzing, all these wouldn’t have been as meaningful without the bunch of hardcore Inspirits I have in my life. And I sincerely thank Infinite for that :’) thank you for the colours added in my life.

131005 will forever be etched in my heart as I got the privilege to witness Infinite’s charms in real life @ Singapore Indoor Stadium. OGSSG was a one-of-a-kind experience, my first time being in the mosh pit. OGSSG served a greater purpose than just a mere concert delivered to fans. It was the connection, the bonding between Infinite x Inspirit, as well as Inspirits x Inspirits :’) How proud of OT7 to successfully hold a World Tour in 2013. Patiently waiting for Infinite to be back in SG for another concert, & no matter how long it takes, we will wait.

The charm of Infinite is that each of the 7 member have their own clear and unique tastes. But we’re also like a combined set of presents. If you fall for one member, we’re sure you’ll fall for the rest of us. It’d be so nice if fans fought over who they liked more. If we continue to think preciously of our fans and work hard to improve ourselves maybe someday people will remember us. – Infinite

 

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Looking at all these, with the point dances clearly shown on each picture, yet another reason to be proud of Infinite & their perfectly synchronised dance moves. So as we take a trip down memory lane, from 9 June 2010 to 9 June 2014, let’s all hope for many more years to come, and just like what Infinite said in their 4-year anni self cam video, let’s all celebrate the 10th, 20th, 30th, 40th anniversary together :’) Because this love will last to infinity & beyond.

Infinite to me? Something I cannot live without: Family. – Sungjong

 

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Never been more proud to be part of this Pearl Metal Gold Ocean :’) Once again, Happy 4th Anniversary to Infinite & Inspirits, here’s to many more anniversaries to come x

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[UPDATED] The Avril Lavigne Tour

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Singing radiohead at the top of our lungs

With the boombox blaring as we’re falling in love

Got a bottle of whatever but it’s getting us drunk

Singing here’s to never growing up

15 February 2014 marks the night where I first met Avril Lavigne in real life. And it was purely amazing + perfection. The first split second I saw her in real life … it was so damn surreal. I still can’t believe it *o*

Got really hyped up & overwhelmed with feels during the entire concert, it was mega insane with all the screaming/shouting/singing & what-nots! She sang a total of 17 songs, all of which were live (with her awesome band who performed alongside Avril for the entire concert). Thankful that our seats were all the way in front at the first row, with a perfect view of the entire stage *o*

[UPDATED] Going to add in the set-list because I don’t ever want to forget any of the songs that I have witnessed Avril perform live!

Intro video
Hello Kitty
Girlfriend
Rock N Roll
Here’s To Never Growing Up
I Always Get What I Want
Hush Hush
Let Me Go
My Happy Ending
Don’t Tell Me
Complicated

(Encore 1)
Bad Girl
He Wasn’t
Losing Grip
Sk8er Boi

(Encore 2)
What The Hell
Smile
I’m With You

The 2 songs that struck me the most was Complicated + I’m With You. Okay to be fair, ALL the songs made me have goosebumps & made me overwhelmed with all the feels that I could possibly feel in that instance. Avril has THAT kind of a great impact on me, no kidding.

Complicated – how Avril mentioned during the concert that it was her first song ever in her career – her debut song in 2002. The way she sang it with so much passion, how her vocals completely serenaded the entire indoor stadium, how sincere she sounded in every single lyric she sang out tonight. She acknowledged all the Black Stars that stayed with her since day 1, it gives off such a fuzzy feeling :’) After all, it has been 12 whole years, it wasn’t an easy feat but she did it. And these were her exact words she said:

I started the Avril Lavigne tour a couple of weeks ago, and I’m so happy to be here in Singapore tonight. And i want to thank anybody out there, and dedicate this song to everybody out there who has been a fan of mine since Day 1. Thank you so much, this is my very first single, Complicated.

I’m With You – this was the final song of the concert. Calm & peaceful song, everyone in the audience was singing along with Avril, how she looked so happy that we all knew all the lyrics despite I’m With You being one of the earlier songs she released (looong ago). And in that moment I felt the pure bliss & happiness :’) I didn’t know the people around me personally (except for my sis aka awesome videographer for the night thanks sis), but at that moment, we all knew we were proud Black Stars for Avril Lavigne.

I’m really really really thankful to have been able to see her perform live tonight. I got to witness her pop punk princess attitude, listen to her powerful vocals sing live & going so steady throughout the entire concert. I don’t regret one bit being a Black Star since young, because her songs are my inspiration, to get me through the rough days :’) All the lyrics, the melody of songs that she arranged & composed on her own, it’s more than sincere, it’s simply genuine.

Won’t say much about this, but it’s definitely a night worth remembering & reminiscing, a night that I’ll etch in my memory forever, a night that I’ll give anything just to experience it all over again. I’m still mega overwhelmed with feels now omg. After all, there’s something magical in seeing your all-time favorite performer right in front of your eyes, serenading the audience with her songs (‘:

15 February 2014, The Avril Lavigne Tour (Live in Singapore), thank you for the memories x

It’s a damn cold night

Trying to figure out this life

Won’t you take me by the hand

Take me somewhere new

I don’t know who you are but,

I’m with you (‘:

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From, To

I know the title of my post seems really weird/doesn’t make any sense. But it’s something that I saw on Tumblr that I really want to share because it was just like … whoa it made me so damn speechless when I saw it. Bittersweet sad post in just a few mere sentences.

Two months into our relationship you once asked me how much I loved you and I just said “From here”.

You didn’t get it and you got mad and you thought I was just playing around.

 

Breaking up after almost 2 years being together, I sent you a message 6 months later saying “To here.”

 

You still didn’t get it.

)’: It’s such a bitter feeling.

And this is basically what I’ve been doing these few days – Burying my head in books after books, notes after notes, mugging for finals. Honestly don’t except myself to get a good CAP this sem, I’m just hoping for decent grades enough to get me by. And I’ll repent & be a good girl from next sem onwards I promise! Since I somehow earned a reputation of constantly ponning lectures this sem … but some lectures are really a waste of time AND can be self-studied so I don’t see the point in being physically present, especially since there’s webcast as well. Not to mention the long travelling time from home to school, and then back home, that’s so much precious time wasted. Hence, ponning lectures is justifiable (who am I kidding). Next sem, I’ll be a good girl.

Remember my previous post about Avril Lavigne & how I wish that she’d come to SG for a concert? The morning after I wrote that post – my dream came TRUE. 5 Nov 2013, I woke up at approx 10am learning that Avril Lavigne is having her concert 15 Feb 2014 *o* And that the tickets have started selling since 9am (!!) So yes … I finally got my hands on 2 Cat-1 tickets, imagine the pure bliss & excitement that I experienced that morning (‘: 5 Nov 2013 was supposed to be a nostalgic day since it was the 1-month mark since then. But I’m glad this sudden surprise of Avril’s concert tided me through that entire day I was literally all smiles & what-not (:

Avril Lavigne Live in Singapore 2014 – Rawesome Tour

How good does that sound ^^ My tickets arrived in the mail a couple of days ago, keeping them safe because I’ll just kill myself if I lose them. So damn glad for a dream-come-true, just imagine seeing Avril Lavigne in real life, and most importantly getting to listen to her sing live omg I can’t contain my excitement *o* 

Oh yes and JIN made her debut on 8 Nov 2013, her debut song Gone is currently on replay (click on the title to watch the MV!) It’s so nice, the MV was so touching, the ending was so bittersweet :’) Just some background info for those who aren’t familiar, JIN debut as a solo artist for now, but she will officially debut & promote as a member of Woollim’s Girl Group early next year, alongside Baby Soul, Ji Ae, and a few other girls. Both Baby Soul & Ji Ae have made their solo debut, and JIN is the last girl from Woollim’s Girl Group to get to have a solo debut! JIN’s vocals are soooo good (just like Baby Soul) and a plus point is that JIN is so pretty omg. 

See what I mean? Really looking forward to Woollim’s Girl Group debut early next year (coupled with INFINITE’s comeback after their World Tour ends early next year as well). Have some reservations about Woolim’s Girl Group because of certain reasons but … I’ll hold my comments till their debut (: Really hope they won’t disappoint – after all Woolliment doesn’t disappoint, their artistes are awesome this way hee. Love the (translated) lyrics for Gone as well, I’m a sucker for bittersweet songs/lyrics.

In the place where we were together

In those moments where we could have walked together

I’m holding onto myself alone

In this place, even our future, my wishes have stopped

I’m standing here and you are gone

 

I’m sorry for the incoherent post but I’m just really typing whatever that comes to my mind hee.

Snapchat is awesome. Mega love my regular Snapchat buddies who never fail to make my day (several times) with ’em insane Snapchats (‘: Coincidentally, these are the people who keep me going every single day. Those whom I trust in my life, those whom I rely on so so so much for everything & anything. Play hard, work hard. It’ll ultimately be worth it, eventually.

Last thing before I end my post & head back to conquering Linear alg (wish me luck Lab Quiz in a few days ugh matlab … sucks). CLB is allowing overnight study, basically it’s open 24/7, should I should I? I’m the kind who can’t concentrate at home I end up doing useless stuff/ things not related to academics like updating endlessparadigm *coughs*. And studying in central library AND studying at night really makes me waaay more productive. Said this many times before, I’m not a morning/daytime person. My productivity rate shoots up at night as long as I get over the sleepy phase! Considering overnight study, anyone interested to join me?

Finals start in 16 days, PRESS ON. And it’s time to study go go jiayou don’t give up not now not ever (:

x