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Basking in post-midterms indulgence for the entire weekend, before resuming the life of an undergraduate when Monday comes again. Glad that Monday is a public holiday, much needed long weekend indeed, after going through hell of a week due to midterms stress & what-nots.

Friday night was awesome. Rushed to GV Vivo with my horror movie fanatic just to take pictures of/with the Annabelle doll exhibited there, & rushed to GV PS to catch Annabelle (because the seats left for GV Vivo screening was undesirable). Kind of crazy haha, the things we do just to see the doll. It looks so magnificently creepy, & so so intriguing when you just stand in front of the glass case to stare into the eyes of Annabelle. Anyway for those unfamiliar, Annabelle is a prequel/spinoff from The Conjuring (2013). Annabelle wasn’t as scary as The Conjuring, & we were really amused by the audience. If you don’t know what movie we were watching, I swear by just listening to the reactions, you’d think a comedy was screening – because everyone kept laughing during the movie. Despite Annabelle being not scary (at all), it was a nice movie & I’d say worth the watch I guess? I’m glad I managed to catch it because I’ve been waiting for it since forever. Another horror/thriller called Ouija coming soon, to be released on 20 Oct, & it’s another movie date yaaaay haha. Ouija’s trailer looks promising & I think the movie’s tagline is short, sweet & cool.

Keep telling yourself it’s just a game.

Met up with A yesterday. Every meetup with A results in exploring many places haha went to 313/Orchard Gateway/Ion Orchard/Taka/PS & we did major shopping. Lunch was at Ootoya & the food was gooood + ambience is quite suitable to go there solo actually haha (thanks Marcus for the recommendation!) It was quite an epic time trying to find Ootoya haha but then again, since when were things normal when hanging out with A. Tried Tsujiri Parfait as well, & absolutely loved it. The matcha was sooo authentic without having the grainy feel, & the red bean was not too sweet – basically the combination of everything was just right (: Retail therapy at its best, I’m really satisfied with all the buys haha especially the loots from F21 omg *o* Guilty pleasures indeed, shopping with A has always been fun & uncontrollable HAHA. Shan’t elaborate further, ’em memories will always be etched in my mind.

With the end of midterms comes time for self indulgence, aka painting nails etc haha. Can’t wait to dye my hair soon, new colour to experiment I hope it wouldn’t turn out too bad. & I really wanna get permanent pink streaks someday ahhaha shall see how it goesss.

5 October 2014 marks two things:

  1. Exactly one year since OGSSG; the day/night of magic where we witnessed the perfection of Infinite @ Singapore Indoor Stadium for their very first solo concert in Singapore :’) I still remember queuing for mosh pit since mega early morning, & how we were all so overwhelmed by the close proximity we were in with Infinite (since we braved the mosh pit haha)
  2. Woke up to the news of Dongwoo going to Laws of the Jungle oh my gosh. I really love LOTJ, but after watching a few seasons, I know how dangerous it is since they have to brave the natural environment & what-nots. Really excited to watch LOTJ Costa Rica for Dongwoo though, really x fingers that he will be safe filming for this programme omg 😦

The past few days have been spent having late night chats (while studying for midterms of course ahha). & talking to someone made me realize how wrong I’ve been so far. In the search (or rather pursuit) of someone who fits certain criteria, I realized how I’ve forsaken the worth of another. I’m glad it’s not too late, & at least I didn’t jeopardize the other in any way. To the other you, thank you for being there throughout for me & occasionally asking for updates on non-existent happenings, & just checking on my daily life randomly or actually putting in an effort to maintain this friendship 🙂 Because these little actions really matter a lot to me.

It’s really, really hard but I’m trying. Albeit being upset, I’m going to have to start to build ’em walls up because I don’t even think you know you broke through them & just when I thought you’d enter, you just carelessly left without knowing. Maybe we started off on the wrong page, because your perceptions of me are probably so skewed, how I seemed so vulnerable when you first knew me. I don’t blame it on the wrong timings, because after all everything happens for a reason. & I strongly believe that if you can’t handle me at my worst, then there’s no point at all since my best will only be a facade/a part of me that you’d appreciate.

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain & touch our wounds with a warm & tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief & bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing & face us with the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.

I’m not looking for someone who can go crazy & high with the socially awkward me, I need someone who can empathize with my dark side & genuinely offer a listening ear without brushing me off so carelessly. It takes a lot of courage to open up to someone, especially for people like me. It’s the kind where you can just sit together or walk alongside each other, without any spoken words exchanged, yet it’s a comfortable silence 🙂

Cherish the people around you, because if you don’t, they will just silently slip away from your life, quietly. Just like how I’m going to slip away from yours, because honestly I think I’m done trying. & yeah you might still be putting me through occasional emotional turmoils, but I’m not going to try anymore because I’m tired of non-reciprocal responses. Though after all these, I don’t regret letting you in on those secrets/thoughts, because I know I still trust you to safekeep them for me 🙂 Thanks for the memories, but perhaps it’s time for some closures. Maybe in the future, should our paths continue to intertwine, we can start off proper all over again.

This is the memory
This is the curse of having
Too much time to think about it
It’s killing me
This is the last time
This is my forgiveness
This is endless

Till the next time, endlessparadigm x

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Infinite 4th

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As the clock strikes midnight on 9 June 2014, twitter has been spammed/flooded with tweets pertaining to this special day. As the hashtag trends suggest, #INFINITE4th or #4YearsWithInfinite, today marks the day where it has been exactly 4 years since Infinite officially debuted as a boy group under Woolliment.

Browsing through all the tweets, amidst the really hilarious/epic ones, many Inspirits took the chance to reminisce about Infinite’s journey throughout this 4 years. With their 4th anniversary comes many memories resurfaced, ranging from the pranks pulled during Sesame Player (really miss those days), to their first win with Be Mine on 1 Sept 2011, & to the closely-knit relationship between these 7 boys who come together as Infinite.

Albeit not being an Inspirit right from the start since their debut on 9 June 2010, I’m more than certain I’ll stay as an Inspirit till the end. No scratch that, there won’t be an end, it’ll be forever :’)

Once you become an Inspirit, you will be Inspirit forever. We will also be Infinite forever! – Dongwoo

Never has this quote been more apt. In the recent months, there have been many … issues popping up. Setbacks, disappointments & what-nots. But it’s the true Inspirits who will be sticking with them forever till the end of time, isn’t it? 2014 hasn’t exactly been very smooth with Last Romeo promotions having mixed reviews, & how Inspirits are all dejected by the mysterious case of lacking in SNS points despite trending in so many countries hmm.

It’s really heartwarming to see how Inspirits are all united as one, coming together for the (almost) daily tweet parties just to get #인피니트 trending :’) Personally feel that Inspirits are more laid back & chill as compared to other fandoms I’ve witnessed, so the effort put in for LR promotions this time really touched me a lot. We failed, Sunggyu apologised to say it wasn’t Inspirits but rather Infinite who was lacking. We cry. We learn. We get back up on our feet, we try even harder than before. If we fail a million times, we get back up a million and one times. Because you know what? As chill as we may seem, Inspirits do not know how to give up. Because we know deep down in our hearts that despite Infinite constantly saying winning isn’t of priority, we know they deserve the recognition, the title of champions, the physical award that crowns them as winners, because they truly deserve it.

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Their sincerity on every single stage performance, singing live & practising for so many hours a day, just to make sure they deliver nothing but perfection. 4 years since debut, and still so humble, constantly reminding themselves of their rookie mindsets, to not get too confident or proud, to always cherish & be sincere in what they do. How rare is it for k-idols to be hand in hand, delivering 90 degree bows to thank their fans, to say “thank you” for possibly a million times during the encore after a music show win, to put the blame on themselves for lacking & hoping to cheer Inspirits up, when we were the ones who were lacking instead.

Our name, Infinite, means “limitless”. We never put a restriction on our possibilities, and we will always improve. – Sunggyu

Still find it amazing  how after all these years, Infinite is the first k-idol group to attract my attention, and make me fall head over heels for them. 7 different charms, 7 different personalities, fitting together perfectly like puzzle pieces, this is what Infinite is :’) I’ve only been an Inspirit for 1.5 years (& counting), comparing to all my other Inspirit friends, it’s not as long. But thank you Infinite for gifting me with an Inspirit family, because such friendships are difficult to come by. Infinite serving as a common topic/bond between Inspirits, laughter//tears//smiles//going crazy//spazzing, all these wouldn’t have been as meaningful without the bunch of hardcore Inspirits I have in my life. And I sincerely thank Infinite for that :’) thank you for the colours added in my life.

131005 will forever be etched in my heart as I got the privilege to witness Infinite’s charms in real life @ Singapore Indoor Stadium. OGSSG was a one-of-a-kind experience, my first time being in the mosh pit. OGSSG served a greater purpose than just a mere concert delivered to fans. It was the connection, the bonding between Infinite x Inspirit, as well as Inspirits x Inspirits :’) How proud of OT7 to successfully hold a World Tour in 2013. Patiently waiting for Infinite to be back in SG for another concert, & no matter how long it takes, we will wait.

The charm of Infinite is that each of the 7 member have their own clear and unique tastes. But we’re also like a combined set of presents. If you fall for one member, we’re sure you’ll fall for the rest of us. It’d be so nice if fans fought over who they liked more. If we continue to think preciously of our fans and work hard to improve ourselves maybe someday people will remember us. – Infinite

 

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Looking at all these, with the point dances clearly shown on each picture, yet another reason to be proud of Infinite & their perfectly synchronised dance moves. So as we take a trip down memory lane, from 9 June 2010 to 9 June 2014, let’s all hope for many more years to come, and just like what Infinite said in their 4-year anni self cam video, let’s all celebrate the 10th, 20th, 30th, 40th anniversary together :’) Because this love will last to infinity & beyond.

Infinite to me? Something I cannot live without: Family. – Sungjong

 

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Never been more proud to be part of this Pearl Metal Gold Ocean :’) Once again, Happy 4th Anniversary to Infinite & Inspirits, here’s to many more anniversaries to come x

(pic cr: to owners)

This love is infinite.

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Currently suffering from post-concert depression like all the SG Inspirits who went for OGSSG yesterday. I’ll be posting about it while it’s still fresh in my memory, because 5 Oct 2013 is a day I will never want to forget in my life (: It was such an amazing night, literal perfection & I’m dying with my feels right now omg. Note: All/most pictures here are unedited because I don’t have the time to make collages etc yet, I really need to post before doing anything else!

Firstly, really thankful to Qijin & Yongen for the sacrifice they made – to start queuing overnight, just so all of us get to be near the front of the tagging. Grace & Crystal took over at 6.30am, Meina, Yumin, Simin & me took over at 9.30am. It’s such small actions and sacrifices that mean so much in my life, and that I am so appreciative of (‘: Especially since the weather wasn’t kind – it was raining/thundering so badly ): 

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Met Yumin & Simin at 9am @ KLP to stock up on food (which we couldn’t finish in the end & had to throw since we couldn’t bring them into the concert venue). Then we took over Grace & Crystal, Yumin Simin Meina & me were excited yet tired/bored (alright maybe I was the bored one but stillllll). Chatted a bit with the friendly Inspirits in the queue behind us (: It’s so nice to all share the love for Infinite. At 11am, we were moved downstairs to a sheltered yet humid area for the official queue for wrist tagging. Continued queuing & Meina made her super chio Myungyeol board!! 

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At approximately 10.30am, Meina & me decided to go upstairs for some fresh air. The sun was so bright it was scorching hot upstairs ): Samsung was blasting Infinite songs, and that was the first moment of yesterday where I really felt like this was so surreal, literally felt all the excitement & just like “WHOA.” (: So many Inspirits around, I may not know most of them, all I know is that all of us were there so early for one reason – we love Infinite. 

Wrist tagging at 1pm, and we went to KLP for lunch & to chill after that (: Went back to 3pm to collect our glow-in-the-dark Infinite tattoos that we preordered from a fanbase. Meina & me decided to lay the tattoos out to let them absorb sunlight since the fanbase said it needs to absorb more sunlight in order to glow better … so we did this.

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I really like the design of the tattoos although they weren’t really good (mine dropped off approximately 10 minutes into the concert). Close up picture of the tattoo! “I just can’t stop loving you ~ cause you’re my destiny ~”

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And there were many different fan projects, different slogans & banners that we received. And also Infinite Inspirit Stickies *o* Which were in Pearl Metal Gold, aka Infinite’s official colour YEY (: And received the lightsticks + file that we pre-ordered from official merchandise. This picture basically sums up most of the stuff that I got from yesterday. Image

Pearl metal gold balloon|white lights (for white light project)|Infinite stickies|Dongwoo file|banners|slogans|my wrist taggg|Sistic ticket|Dongwoo card (from Qijin)|Dongwoo sticker (from Qijin)

The lightsticks are really pretty, one of it has Sunggyu + Dongwoo + Woohyun’s signatures, the other has Hoya + Sungyeol + Myungsoo + Sungjong’s signature! Close up picture of the lightsticks because they are too pretty. Pearl metal gold ftw (:

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I shall … fast forward to 5pm! 5pm was when we went to queue for entry to the moshpit! All 10 of us (Yumin Simin Meina Qijin Ziyin Ziyin’s sis Grace Crystal Yongen me) are in Pen B, tag numbers 179-188. Had bag check & everything, ran into the mosh pit & I remember as we were running I was shrieking to Yumin “I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING WE’RE REALLY INSIDE ALREADY!!” 

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This was how close we were to the stage can you believe it!!! Third row of moshpit from the front, it was such an amazing HD experience throughout the whole night although the girls in front of me were so tall AND they wore platforms/heels ….. I was watching between their heads for most of the concert LOL. The two screens at the sides of the indoor stadium were playing Infinite MVs after MVs, the MV that was playing when we first went in was White Confession, and coincidentally it was my fave scene (Dongwoo & Sunggyu with the toy soldiers) of the MV *o* all ’em excited Inspirits (including us) started singing along/doing the fanchants, and SHRIEKING when our bias appears on the screen. I nearly died when they played Special Girl MV, highed with fellow lamey hee (: The MVs kept playing all the way till 7.30pm when the concert officially started. When the lights blacked out, we all screamed at the top of our lungs. Because …

it.was.really.happening.infinite.is.going.to.appear.in.front.of.our.eyes.

!Disclaimer: Whatever that I post about the concert isn’t in chronological order because I’m too overwhelmed with feels now to remember the order. I’ll just type whatever comes to my mind. 

Destiny MV version A started playing, so exclusive since it wasn’t officially released by woolliment yet, hence watching version A for the first time in HD *o* waaaay better than watching via fancams from other past OGS concerts!! I really can’t wait for version A to be released I need to download it omg ):

And the starting VCR was so awesome *o* I really love the entire plot/storyline of the concert, all 7 of them looked so damn freaking cool – and I swear that’s a major understatement. The moment when Infinite appeared, my heart died for that moment. After oogling at them for so long from videos & pictures, they are actually right in front of our eyes. In real life. HD experience. Infinite perfection. 7 hot boys omg I really died. And it was easy to differentiate everyone just from their silhouettes, how cool is that hee (: 

REQUEST. The song that Infinite sang (& even recorded an MV) for promoting Samsung! I really love the song it sounds so happy & hyper although the lyrics aren’t as flattering, it’s pretty sad ): But omg watching Infinite perform Request was so woohoo ^^ Request is a song that can be REALLY addictive (Just like all of their songs actually LOL), the dance is so cool because they focus on their hands/wrists while cheographing the dance, so they can promote the new Samsung galaxy gear watch (is that what it’s called). So happy that OGSSG was after Request was released, so we get to watch them perform it in real life during OGS!!

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Can you identify this dance ^^ Not difficult to if you’re an Inspirit hee (:

All the stages were literally jaw-dropping and I was smiling so widely throughout the entire concert despite being shoved around by violent fangirls (and fanboys) at the moshpit area. All of Infinite dances really live up to their name (y) Super awesome and breathtaking and powerful and synchronized and perfect *o* I really love Paradise & their hip thrusts soooooo powerful (especially Dongwoo’s) (I might be biased HAHA), I can’t believe I actually watched Paradise live omg it’s my all-time favorite Infinite song (‘: 

And another stage that I died in. No prizes for guessing what it was ….. *drumroll* SPECIAL GIRL. Yumin and me practically went crazy it was soooo good Special Girl was one of the stages I was looking forward to the most ^^ Forever shipping yadong I love all the yadong moments during the concert when they chest-bumped/fist-bumped/interacted with each other!!! And Special Girl just sounds so different & much better live (‘: My eyes were glued to Dongwoo throughout and occasionally drifted to Hoya of course. But Dongwoooooo omg really killed me with the Special Girl stage & the dance break!!! I will never get tired of watching Yadong perform Special Girl, really like never ever omg. I screamed like a crazy fangirl everytime it was Dongwoo’s parts HAHA whooooops. I couldn’t control!!

Myungsoo’s solo stage was just … whoa. It was the only performance throughout the entire concert where the entire audience was dead quiet and just enjoying him sing Love You Like You, I was so mesmerized by Myungsoo during his solo stage (and many other instances during the concert as well like when he stripped Dongwoo HAHA). It’s really not difficult to tell why Myungsoo is one of the more popular ones of Infinite, his intense gaze feels as though it can burn through your eyes, it’s so electrifying and seductive (LOL). And his interactions with the huge life-sized bear literally drove all Inspirits (including me) crazy, especially when he kissed the bear and looked so shy/embarrassed IT WAS SO DAMN FREAKING ADORABLE.

Really love all the solo stages, like Woohyun singing Beautiful his stage was so cute with the push-cart full of toys & the outfits etc, it almost seemed as though it was like a mini musical!!! Woohyun’s vocals are really powerful, his voice is so soothing & nice to listen to omg (‘: And Sunggyu!!! 60 Seconds omg one of my fave songs as well, another powerhouse for vocals, Sunggyu is so adorable I think he’s getting more adorable as time passes, evidently from all the variety that he has been on to ^^ And Sungyeol + Sungjong DJ skills = WAY TOO COOL. Everyone was immersed in the clubbing like atmosphere due to the DJs yeollie & jong HAHA I heard two different girls saying they suddenly felt like they were clubbing LOL. But their DJ skills really daebak (y) I swear Infinite is so damn talented with looks voice dance talent, for the infinite time I’m saying this, Infinite is infinite perfection (wasn’t that punny) (just say yes)

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Before the daaaawnnn ~ Before the daaawwwn ~ Hee. Anyway something else I remembered. It was INSANE watching Inconvenient Truth MV for the first time, during OGSSG omg. I knew that they would be showing it to us but … I wasn’t mentally prepared (even though I watched a brief fancam of it already). It sounds weird to say this but, Infinite is so damn pervy in the MV, especially Hoya omg LOL. (And my iTunes just shuffled to Inconvenient Truth HAHA whoa) All Infinite members had intimate interactions/actions with the female lead who had a super good figure omg. And I kept hitting Yumin (I’M SORRY HAHA) everytime it was Dongwoo’s scenes with her because it was so omg DONGWOO BEING SO TOUCHY/FLIRTY/SUGGESTIVE ACTIONS WITH THE FEMALE LEAD IN THE MV it really killed me so badly HAHA okay but overall the MV was super amusing (Myungsoo was being such a gentleman and took off his suit to cover the girl because her dress is so damn freaking short it revealed 99.999999% of her legs (which resulted in pervy Infinite HAHA). Woollim please release/upload the official MV for Inconvenient Truth, watching it once in HD isn’t satisfying enough ):

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OGSSG reaffirmed that my ultimate bias is really nobody else but Dongwoo. Dongwoo, the wildest, craziest, funniest, full of random ideas, super energetic, so smiley, and most angelic member in Infinite (‘: I know I prolly repeated this a lot of times but I will say it again – it feels too surreal seeing Dongwoo in real life yesterday, it still feels like a dream to me.

“I’m the moodmaker Dongwoo~” 

And that was how he first introduced himself at the beginning of OGSSG yesterday ^^ WAY TOO CUTE. Dongwoo was full of energy and kept doing random things like small dances & smiling/giggling to himself, it feels so nice to know he’s prolly enjoying the concert as much as I am enjoying as an audience (:

Dongwoo was directly in front of my area during the two ballads Mom & Still I Miss You, I swear it seemed as though it was eye contact throughout the entire two songs (I know it’s not possible but don’t burst my bubble and let me live in self-denial please) I was just staring at him for both songs throughout, my eyes didn’t drift away at all – literally. I was just immersed and so captivated, even when it wasn’t his part & the spotlight wasn’t on him, I just kept staring at him, I got so lost in thoughts and all I could think about was how much I really adore Dongwoo. I just realise I sound creepy ): But trust me those moments are so magical – everytime I close my eyes now I can still picture Dongwoo and his direct gaze at me (I said don’t burst my bubble okay HAHA). It was as though time stopped and the world stopped spinning and nothing else mattered at all but Dongwoo (‘: It’s so surreal seeing my ultimate bias in real life, it felt like a dream I never want to wake up from. Last night was waaay to surreal, way too awesome. 

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And this picture shows Infinite giving their more-than-90-degrees bow to Inspirits (‘: I love how sincere they are, going to all the different corners of the stage to bow to the fans, while holding hand-in-hand (: Such a sincere and real group, how can anyone not fall in love with them omg (‘:

“60 seconds is all I need for this story, you came into my heart, I don’t doubt it.” – 60 Seconds, Infinite

I realised how apt this sentence is right now, perfectly describing how I even entered this fandom in the first place. All it took was a minute for me to gain interest in Dongwoo, and thanks to Yumin & Meina, I got successfully inducted into the wonderful Inspirit family. And I don’t regret it one bit.

Shall wrap up my super long post with the words that Dongwoo said (in English!!) for his individual ending message for SG Inspirits. 

“This is our very first time to hold our concert in Singapore. I’m so happy, hehe. Now we get to spend more time together. Tonight is very special. Thank you for coming tonight, Singapore babies. Thank you so much, and you make us put our heart into the show. I will be back soon so don’t forget to keep loving us. We always have concert for you. Thank you. See ya!” – Jang Dong Woo, Infinite

Yes Dongwoo, I’ll never forget to keep loving Infinite. And the same can be said for all ’em true Inspirits out there. And Infinite you promised to be back here again soon, please hold true to that promise I really want to see Infinite live in Singapore again ): It was a special night indeed, no question about it (‘:

Basically I really just let all the emotions out and screamed throughout the entire concert (my throat really hurts now). Because Infinite is worth it – no wait. Infinite is more than worth it. Infinite is worth the sacrifices, the screaming, the smiles, the tears, the pain, they’re worth everything. 

And now all I feel is the emptiness, knowing it might possibly be years before I see these 7 boys in real life again. That thought makes me really depressed ): I didn’t expect myself to have such intense feelings but I really can’t help it. Looking at the pictures/videos taken, all I can say is that I am proud to be an Inspirit, proud to say I’ll be faithful to Infinite (or yeollie will “chase me to the end of the world” as he said), and I will never forget about how magical 5 October 2013 (Saturday) was.

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Final bow of OGSSG by Infinite; Final picture of this post; Final words of this recount. Of the magical night, OGSSG 051013. I know that there’s a million more stuff lacking in my recount, but it’s all kept safely and securely in my heart, I will never forget this experience (: 

My love is Infinite. And I’m more proud than anything to be an Inspirit (‘: Because Infinite and Inspirit comes as one.

Some days

 

Half of the week is over … and that means we are slowly edging towards Saturday *o* OGSSG on Saturday has pretty much been the reason why I’m still persevering on in school, my motivation. According to sources, they will be arriving at the airport tonight approx 9.30/10pm! And they will be at Paragon for a Meet&Greet session tomorrow at 12.45pm which I won’t be able to go for since I’m having Linear alg midterms at 4.15pm. Whatever it is, despite my love for them to be Infinite (so punny haha), I must not sacrifice my results or anything! Can’t wait to survive this hectic hell of a week, and definitely well rewarded on Saturday despite having to queue early in the morning for mosh pit wrist tagging.

It has been a really eventful week, and happy to say that Psych + Living w math midterm papers are over hee. I’ll talk more about them after all midterms have ended I guess, don’t exactly have much time on my hands now. ‘ve got to finish up/finalise psych midterm scientific paper, then continue to mug for Linear alg I hope I won’t screw it up *crosses fingers* 

Proper update tomorrow after I get home from linear alg midterms!

 

x