Atelophobia

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In life, you can’t aim to please everyone. No matter what you do, there will always be disagreements. Just like how there’s always two sides to the coin, every matter can, and will, be perceived in different perspectives. Who’s allowed to discern the right from wrong, to have the ultimate say in things? Sometimes, stepping back & analyzing the entire situation, while putting away all prior prejudice or unhappiness, may be the only way to work things out. Whatever it is, it all boils down to sincerity & priorities I guess.

The non-existent recess week started & ended well, though the in-between is far from ideal. Had our very first cannies outing on Monday @ Marina Barrage! It went relatively well, and honestly this bunch of people are really nice to hang out with. Hopeefully I’ll be able to lose the awkwardness around me & properly bond with them. At least for one, I know that there’s something to look forward to after finals! 🙂

Headed to The Punggol Settlement for the first time yesterday, it was mindblowing/breathtaking & so damn therapeutic. The serenity in the environment, and non-crowded pathways, with the strong wind really made the entire atmosphere so calm & peaceful. Which is the exact opposite of how things are currently in life (sadly). Definitely heading back there whenever I have time, and gained a new interest in discovering such hidden gems in Singapore after finals as well! 🙂

I’ve spent the past week questioning my commitments & wondering if I’m just incapable to handle so many things. I’ve confided in my usual few regulars & thanks guys for listening + giving all the advice :’) It’s really heartening to have friends willing to stay up just to chat. In that aspect, I know I’m blessed :’) The overwhelming feeling of pending items to do really stressed me out, and when my laptop crashed a few days back, it really served as the trigger point of all my unhappiness. Literally spent my time moping around doing nothing, and I felt so handicapped without my laptop. Glad to have it back as I’m happily typing away on it, but R.I.P. to my iTunes (for the second time), where ALL my songs are gone and I have to go through the painful process of redownloading all my songs again *cries* That will have to wait after finals if I’m able to free some time up hmm.

With all that aside, I heeded the advice of listing down every single thing I need to do (even the smallest or simplest tasks). And it really worked! A couple of days ago, I started with having 36 items on my to-do list, and currently I’m down to 29. It really made me feel better & weirdly motivating to be more productive 🙂 Despite the huge amount of backlogs I’ve accumulated in the past few weeks of academics, this little amount of productivity is evidence of progressing forward.

So in response to whether I’m having any second thoughts to all my commitments:

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🙂 Take things in stride, everything will work out eventually. After all, everything happens for a reason.

Slept later than normal these days, I should really be trying to regulate my sleep cycle hmm. Can’t wait for this week to be over, and definitely going to embrace next week because it’s e-learning, even though it’s packed with meetings/schedules/things to do already whooops. Can’t wait for Saturday to be here already, hanging out sessions are always precious because physical meet-ups beat whatsapp/text any day.

Song to recommend: Serial Killer – Lana Del Rey. Simply got to love all of Lana’s songs, and this is my latest addiction haha. A pity that it’s an unreleased song though, wish it would be included in her album someday ): And I’m always open for song recommendations (especially English songs), so please share if you have any!

Random but a few days back when I was blasting Innocence by Avril Lavigne, my sis commented about how she’s sick of this song because I’ve been playing it since it got released in 2007 HAHA. Which made me realise that it’s pretty fascinating how it has remained as my all-time favourite song after 8 years (& counting) :’) Love how beautiful the lyrics are, love how soothing Avril’s voice is, love how pleasing the melody is. Glad to have Avril’s songs as an accompaniment of my growing up process, so thrilled for her 6th studio album please release it soon! I will always be a loyal Black Star ★

Here’s a rose for everyone out there having a hard time. Always remember, tough times don’t last, tough people do. Press on, all the best for midterms (if any). Oh and A level results are released in approximately an hour, so nervous/excited for my juniors! And I miss hwach days.

Till the next time x

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Silent words

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The stupid thing about anger is how people hurt you and then you let them keep hurting you by being angry about how they originally hurt you. It’s a vicious cycle.

This above quote aptly sums up my emotions recently, & I find myself having more random outbursts in whatsapp/text messages to the few closest friends. Kind of feeling like a burden to my friends, everyone has their own problems etc to handle but I really need platforms to vent my frustrations or else I’ll prolly go insane at this rate by keeping it all in. So sincerely thankful you guys bother to listen to me as I rant repeatedly like some crazy girl! Appreciate all the attempts at cooling me down that evening though, these friends are still the best yey thank you you guys know who you are :’)

Anyway … hello endlessparadigm this is a (supposedly) proper update since midterms are over!!! Concluded Y1S2 midterms with social psych midterms on Friday. It was a shitty paper because so many stuff that didn’t appear in the textbook got tested so … many foreign terms that I have never encountered before in my life HAHA ah well at least it’s over! And I tried my best, so no regrets 🙂 May the the bell curve be in my favour (for once LOL). Before the paper, prof showed us examples of past children’s story books that seniors did, really excited to get started on it because it could possibly be the most interesting/memorable project in my uni life!

Went to KAP today with (part of) 11S7G! (: Visiting it because it’s going to be demolished soon … that place holds waaay to many memories, dating all the way back to 2007, where being in NYGH started the frequent trips/outing to KAP! Kind of sad as it is a relatively representative place in my schooling memories, but then again those memories will be etched in my mind. And what’s more, it’s the people who created those memories that matter (: Took the chance to catch up with friends as well, so excited to meet them again soooon. These are the people who keep my crazy life a little more sane.

This post seems so scattered but I’m really just typing whatever that comes to my mind first so yup hee. Oh yes supported my dearest hierarchy babe @ NTU Choir Concert on 2 March ’14, so proud of her, and glad that I attended the concert! Because it’s the first time I see her dancing AND doing martial arts, not to mention her solo/duet for Under The Sea! It was a really engaging & interesting concert, kudos to NTU Choir, & good job to both SY & JW who performed! Went to taka before the concert with YM, and we spent most of our time in Kino HAHA. After debating with myself for such a long time + advice from friends, I finally got my hands on a copy of L&M by Lang Leav! *o* Not really a poetry kind of person but the poems in L&M just get to me so easily, this is definitely a book that I’ll cherish for a long long time hee. It was a fulfilling shopping trip to Kino for both YM & me, so yay to us! *pops confetti*

Oh yes & all the best to everyone who still has midterm papers/quizzes etc! I feel like a slacker as compared to my friends now since my papers are over whoooops. I’ll buck up soon! But first lemme enjoy for a while more hee really can’t wait for this coming fri it’s gon be TGIF again :’)

Our culture says that feelings of love,

Are the basis of actions of love.

And of course that can be true.

But it is truer to say

That actions of love,

Can lead consistently 

To feelings of love.

 

I must mention: Thank you to the friends who know their limits of what (not) to say/do x