Summer

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Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you’re unlike any other?
You’ll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don’t wanna ever love another
You’ll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder

And this post shall mark the last official day of the (non-existent) summer break, and tomorrow it shall be a fresh start as a Y3 undergraduate … as a Social Work major. Pretty excited for the modules this semester after browsing through the course outlines etc, may it have been a wise decision to take the leap. It’s not going to be an easy transition, especially since it’ll be the first time I’ll be taking 4 core modules (not to mention the fact that I’ve never taken any Social Work modules before). But it shall be a meaningful, enriching & fulfilling journey ๐Ÿ™‚ At least my new course of study will complement my experiences as a volunteer in CSC, hopefully it’ll value-add & allow me to achieve deeper insights into the volunteering sphere.

Watched NUS Rag with A on 7 August, thanks for accompanying me to the event! First time watching The Sam Willows/Gentlebones live, amazing performances. The highlight (and main reason why I attended Rag) was for … Christina Grimmie! I remember watching her covers on youtube many years ago, and got utterly hooked & wowed by her talent! Then she went on to join The Voice, and was in Team Adam Levine, yet another of my celebrity crush HAHA *ultimate fangirl mode on*. Although she mostly performed her original songs during Rag which I haven’t been following, it was a love-at-first-hearing for Liar Liar – Christina Grimmie! The lyrics for Liar Liar are super nice, forever a sucker for such lyrics haha #teamgrimmie forever yaaaaay.

Sadness gives depth. Happiness gives height. Sadness gives roots. Happiness gives branches. Happiness is like a tree going into the sky, and sadness is like the roots going down into the womb of the earth. Both are needed, and the higher a tree goes, the deeper it goes, simultaneously. The bigger the tree, the bigger will be its roots. In fact, it is always in proportion. Thatโ€™s its balance.

It’s not going to be a smooth-sailing semester ahead, but I’ll survive. Guilty of missing lectures frequently in the past two years, trying to make it a point to not miss lectures (to the best of my abilities), and actually pay attention during lectures instead of using my phone all the time whoops. Going for most lectures alone so … self-discipline! Time to start being productive again, and make each minute spent worthwhile. Really upset that S & Y are gonna be flying off for exchange super soooon, y’all will be dearly missed ): Not looking forward to having to send you guys off this weekend sigh can time pause, just for a while?

So excited to meet my youths tomorrow again hee. Last week’s session was a really good one with good attendance (11 youths hee). Please let the attendance rate be regular & consistently high! Last week’s topic was on Respect, to treat each other with a sincere heart & dignity. Had interesting conversations/discussions with our youths, it’s really heartening to witness them being serious & all during sharing sessions & not just taking them lightly. Learnt so much about & from them, hopefully they have great takeaways, as I’ve always had through all these interactions ๐Ÿ™‚ Played a new board game called DixIt with our youths as well, hope to play it again tomorrow because it’s really, really fun hee.

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I don’t want to have to be the one who misses everything when everyone else has clearly forgotten. It’s mortifying. It’s mortifying to be the one who remembers. So I guess, it’s time for some closure. And I really hate being put in dilemmas, where my heart & mind clearly has different stands.

Soulmate, or not? x

Jamais Vu

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Have you ever wondered which hurts the most:
saying something and wishing you had not,
or saying nothing, and wishing you had?

Had a really tiring week, but it was fulfilling at its best. For the first time since being involved in Proj C.A.N., I got to interact with (some of) the beneficiaries ๐Ÿ™‚ It might not seem much to others, but it means a lot to me. Getting to see the people who will benefit from our efforts, to get to talk to them and listen to the short stories they share; to see how grateful they are & glad that we’re visiting them, it makes all ’em hard work worth it. Little talks mean a lot, and it makes me feel so overwhelmed with gratitude, while consciously remembering not to take the things in life for granted. Feeling inspired to continue serving in this, may the passion not fade away ๐Ÿ™‚

Also not forgetting my responsibilities in YR, I’m glad that after months of preparations, our Adventure Camp will turn into reality tomorrow! I’d be lying if I said I was 100% confident that it’ll turn out fine, but I have faith that the subcommittee will make this camp a memorable one (in a good way) for not only our youths, but the volunteers who will be helping out. Pretty excited to meet our youths once again ๐Ÿ™‚ I’ve witnessed the subcommittee undergoing changes, testing out games, submitting draft after draft of the proposal, and I’m really proud of them. It’s not an easy feat to plan for a camp, no matter the duration of the camp, for there are so many considerations to take note of, so many little details to be taken care of, in order to make sure the camp is a smooth sailing one. Embracing the spirit of volunteerism, putting our youths as priority; may YR AC 2015 be successful.

The mind is beautiful because of the paradox. It uses itself, to understand itself.

Sometimes in life, it gets hard to discern between things. In many matters, there’s always that thin line separating differences, with the line being threaded over carelessly all too often. Sometimes, things get tough, and you don’t know if all the suffering is worth it. But always remember, happiness is a choice. Yeah, things in life make it difficult, but at the end of the day, you control your own happiness. I don’t want to harbour any hopes, or to even keep my hopes up, for it makes disappointment much harder to deal with.ย Hence, I really hate the moments when I catch myself daydreaming away, thinking about all the “what ifs” and possibilities in life that will never turn into reality. Maybe if I’m lucky, if only.

The sad thing is, nobody ever really knows how much anyone else is hurting.
We could be standing next to somebody who is completely broken and we wouldn’t even know it.

x