But the truth is we never really grow up.

We just masquerade as adults,

because that’s what we’re expected to do.

Really short update because I don’t want to neglect this space just because of the upcoming exams (though I’ll acknowledge the importance of finals). The past few days have been … mugging & mugging, and more mugging. Not that I’m complaining, I’m actually really enjoying what I study now. It’s just the concept of “exams” and “grades” that really irks me, as though we’re forced to study just because we need/want to get good grades. Who says I can’t be reading up about these psych stuff because I’m genuinely interested, exams or not? But then again, society makes everything boil down to performing well in such tests … and hence it’s back to hardcore mugging ultimately for the sake of good grades. Well at least I’m enjoying, I really am. I see true meaning in the things that I’m studying (well maybe one or two mods are an exception), but otherwise all else is good 🙂

‘been listening to 4 songs on replay while mugging (courtesy of sis who let me download the songs into her phone ‘cos my iTunes has … certain issues which forbid me from adding songs currently ugh). These songs are more of the slow/ballad kinds, not upbeat, perfect for mugging 🙂 Not sure if I actually work well with listening to music while mugging but at least it keeps me more focused somehow, while the music I listen to drift into the background. It’s there, but I’m not paying attention to it as much, but at least it’s there. Go figure what the effects are haha, ‘cos honestly I’m not really sure too. Anyway the 4 songs are:

Ride – Lana Del Rey

West Coast – Lana Del Rey

Gods & Monsters – Lana Del Rey

House on a Hill – The Pretty Reckless

So evidently I’m a fan of LDR. West Coast is the first single released from her upcoming album Ultraviolence, the other two are from the Paradise Edition of Born to Die album released some time last year. There’s just something about the songs of LDR and her voice that matches so well & makes you fall deep into, nothing else really matters when you’re listening to her songs, it’s almost finding the peace within. The last song of the list House on a Hill, it was a looong process of how I got to know of this song. First I saw on twitter that Taylor Momsen (acted as Jenny Humphrey in Gossip Girl series) was quitting acting for good to focus on her music career – which shocked me because I didn’t actually know she was the lead vocals of a band (aka The Pretty Reckless). So I decided to give their album a try, and out of all the songs in their second studio album (released earlier this year), this ballad caught my attention almost immediately 🙂 And gosh I miss watching Gossip Girl, shall rewatch all 6 seasons after finals. And also to finish watching Pretty Little Liars season 4, can’t wait for Season 5 to be out omg *o*

Oh and Avril Lavigne is releasing her Hello Kitty music video in 2 days’ time, so damn excited for it like all the little black stars in my twitter timeline 🙂 And of course patiently waiting for Give You What You Like music video to drop as well. Awesome songs from her latest self-titled album, definitely worth a listen so please do when you can hee.

Alright it’s probably time to get off endlessparadigm, going to prepare some stuff for Char before I’ll commence mugging for the day. It’s tiring but it’ll be worth it – at least that’s what I always tell myself at times like these, don’t know if I’m delusional or psychoing myself into studying haha whoops.

8 more days till the first paper of finals, may these final 8 days of pre-finals mugging be nothing but productive. All the best to everyone who’s handling exams currently, it’ll be over all too soon before you know it, so persevere & it’ll be alright.

So till the next time x

We’re all stories in the end


QUICK SHORT RANDOM INCOHERENT POST before I head back to preparing for tuition session tomorrow (:

Still currently having post-camp withdrawals ugh, this feeling sucks so badly ): I miss waking up on the cold hard concrete floor along the corridors of idk-what-dept/block/building; seeing all the sleepy faces of OG mates; enjoying all the games & HTHTs together as an A4 ): Really didn’t expect myself to be so attached to them, I guess this is just how life works. They are the first group of friends I made in uni, and that will mean a lot no matter what, won’t it?

Happy that our OG WA group convo is still as hyped up, compared to other OG’s convos. Heard from the sis that their WA convo was … dead a few days ago. Pretty saddening ): Really wish that A4’s friendship bond will stay as strong and tide all of us through these 4 years of uni all together (:

And I wonder who else in my OG will be majoring in Psych, I hope I get into my dream major + don’t think my heart will waver to other majors, because Psych is just something that I have been aiming for since … forever. Hate how my thoughts are always so complicated, I seriously don’t remember life being like that in the past ): How time/age changes all of us, it’s just one of those things we’ve got to get over it.

I kinda wna make an effort to post & update about my life every single day but I doubt it will be possible when school/lectures/tutorials start officially hmm. Shall see how it goes! Blogging is therapeutic in a sense, I can just freely throw all my thoughts in here. Not like many people are visiting endlessparadigm anyway (I think LOL).

Don’t wna lose the old me just to embrace the new chapter of life ahead

Tweeted this a few days ago (or was it yesterday I can’t remember omg). Doesn’t it make sense ): I mean yeah it’s inevitable that everyone will change at some point in time ‘cos of the new culture & environment. I just don’t want to lose that element in me that makes me … me. The crazy insane hilarious person I used to be, the personality that my friends know as Shiaowei, I don’t want it to disappear. Perhaps there will be a façade, but I know the old me is still somewhere here, and please don’t go away ):

Okay I don’t know what nonsense I am blabbering HAHA. It’s time to go collate more practice questions for my dearest tutees, may both of them ace their upcoming CA2 Math, and I can be really really proud of them yey (:


x till then